Casting Call – New England Patriots: The Dynasty

Ok, just to prove once again that I know better than Hollywood I’ve decided to cast the movie that will eventually be made about the Patriots, here goes.

Bill Belichick

played by Meatloaf, have him lose a little weight and throw him in a hoodie, done.

As Tom Brady…

…Dexter’s own Michael C. Hall, which is highly appropriate considering how Brady routinely murdered opposing defenses.

As owner Bob Kraft…

…William Shatner.

As Eric Mangini…

…Kevin James.

As Tedy Bruschi..

.

…Dean Cain, formerly Superman on TV’s Lois & Clark.

As Wes Welker…

…Tobey Maguire, who played Spiderman (but he’d really need to up his agility).

As Chad Pennington (enemy)…

…lame dipshit Michael Cera.

As Mike Vrabel…

…uber manly Scott Adkins.

As Randy Moss…

…Chris Rock.

As hard hitting Safety Rodney Harrison…

…long lost twin Eric King of “Dexter”.

As versatile Kevin Faulk…

…who else but Troy Brown!  In a surprising plot twist we will eventually see Brown play every other character in the movie towards the end.

So there you have it, a kick ass movie about one of football’s greatest teams ever, and a MUCH better casting job than Hollywood could ever do.