Planetcaveman's Blog

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Who needs stars?

What do



all have in common?

They’re awesome shows that have a huge following, but they’re also lacking any big Hollywood stars?  Sean Bean is not a star, he’s a somewhat known actor, as is Steve Buscemi, but they’re not stars who command a big paycheck.  Not only do I not think one needs stars to make a good movie but I actually think it gets in the way.  If you see Tom Cruise on the screen you see Tom Cruise, do you really distinguish the different characters he’s playing?  Probably not, you think Tom Cruise, but if you cast a relatively unknown actor you can immediately accept them as that character and not have to deal with any baggage you might have for a certain actor.

The other thing is that it saves a ton of money, why would you want to pay some guy a fuckton of money when you can get an unknown for a lot less and then spend a mere fraction of that money to hire better writers, you know, those guys who can actually write an interesting story with compelling characters and an interesting plot.

I hope we’ll see more shows like these that feel free to ditch the nonsensical idea that people need a big star in order to tune in.


May 21, 2012 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Hollywood Sucks

If you didnt already know the Superman franchise is being rebooted, which I support, but it’s obvious from the start that it’s going to suck.  To play General Zod they’re hired Michael Shannon of the AWESOME show “Boardwalk Empire”.  This is bad for many reasons, for starters Shannon is NOTHING like Zod, but Shannon would actually be perfect as the dumb mute guy.

does NOT equal

who looks a lot more like


If you want a cool, debonair, power-hungry aristocratic General bent on taking over Krypton you nee not look any further than Rufus Sewell, who did exactly that to PERFECTION in “The Illusionist”.

Yes, this is the man to play General Zod.


That being said, who do you think should play Superman?

August 25, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Statesmen with balls, not quite extinct just yet!

Will the American counterparts please stand up?

May 26, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

People suck…pretty much.

Ok, am I the only one who thought Christina Aguilera’s rendition of the National Anthem sucked, aside from her messing up the lyrics?

Granted, my contempt is not limited to her, I detest just about every singer who does the anthem because they feel the need to insert notes that arent in the actual song, to me it seems like me pointing to a picture in a magazine and telling a landscaper to make my lawn just like it is in the picture and then having him do something quite different to express his individuality.  It’s become so common that I really wonder if singers think they NEED to change notes in order to make it good.

Personally, I can’t stand this, if you happen to like this practice so be it, but the funny thing is that while she was criticized for messing up the lyrics (which I can actually forgive pretty readily) she will NEVER be criticized for messing up the notes, except by a fictional character like Peter Griffin.

The reason WHY you won’t hear criticism against they style of singing is because it’s very popular among blacks, and even though Aguilera is quite pale a criticism of that style would be seen as a de facto criticism of black people.  The funny thing is that style of singing, very common and thought to originate in Southern Gospel Music sung by black people, actually comes from the Irish!  Yes, plenty of Irish/Scottish people immigrated and made their homes in the South, so what we have is white people imitating black people imitating the Irish.

Take a listen, see if you hear the subtle fluctuation of notes within the singing.

While I don’t find this offensive, it has nothing to do with their color, it’s because the song was designed with that style in mind, the lilting notes were intended to be there, unlike in the Star Spangled Banner, and to remove notes that were intended to be there wouldnt be any different in principal than inserting notes that arent intended to be there.

Anyway, this is just one more example that double standard that is constantly present in our society, and it’s often become so common that people don’t consciously recognize it as a double standard any more.

Fight the Power!


Oh yeah, she looked a lot better when she was nursing.


February 11, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | 2 Comments

Patriotic Rejection!

Ok, I’ve been gone for a bit but now I’m back, and I promise you’ll get regular doses of old fashioned Caveman wisdom and humor, now onto my failed attempt at glory and Patriotism.

This is my idea for an updated Patriot’s alternate uniform, it’s basically the same layout they have now but with the colors inverted, so they red would once again be the dominant color, with white as the secondary, and blue as the minor color.  The helmet is also a combination of the old and new, with the flying Elvis on a white helmet that has a blue/red stripe down the middle. 

The basic idea was to update the throwbacks, which are mediocre in my opinion.  This would make your brain think it was the throwback while being a nice modernization, and everyone I showed this to at my office said they preferred it to the throwbacks and would even consider buying one if available.  It’s especially interesting to note that the throwbacks only sell for around $25 at the pro-shop at Foxboro while the regular jerseys sell for about $90, apparently I’m not the only one who thinks the throwbacks are nothing special. 

I think it kicks ass, and I sent it to the Patriots and it was promptly returned, according to the letter I got they didnt even open it due to their corporate policy.  This has actually become commonplace since Star Trek was sued by someone who sent in a script that was very similar to an episode their aired later on, so to avoid any legal issues they don’t take in any outside ideas. 

Oh well, Brady to Welker would have looked great in those uniforms.

February 3, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Moss is going…going…GONE!

Thanks for the memories Randy, good luck in Minnesota.

Ok, so anyone in Patriot nation not living under a rock knows that we traded Moss for the Viking’s 3rd round pick the other day.  While I know many that are absolutely livid there are also others that are glad, either Randy rubbed them the wrong way of they just didnt like the direction the offense took with Randy, it’s a certainty that things will be ‘interesting’ moving on. 

While I think the move will hurt in the short term I think it’ll be very good for the team in the long run.  At the heart of the issue is money, Moss wanted long term security and obviously felt very uncomfortable not having a long term extension in place and it manifested in odd ways: after last season ended Moss claimed the Patriots organization “didn’t pay” even though they’d been cutting him some of the biggest checks to a WR in the league.  Immediately after he said that I wanted to trade him then, what an absolute shithead thing to say right when the team is entering into negotiations with players whose contracts were up. 

Did he really think he was doing himself any favors by trying to make the atmosphere more hostile to the front office?  I don’t think that deep down he wanted to harm the teams contract efforts but I do think he started to feel a bit exposed, as he only had 1 more year left and he wanted an extension for himself.  Then there’s the 16 minute press conference when he said he’s “playing his last season in New England”, did he think management would run to him with a fat contract begging him to stay?

I really don’t think he considered that, I think he was acting out of emotion: he felt desperation and that makes you do crazy things. 

As for the Patriots, they’re obviously concerned with the next 5-7 years more than the next 5-7 games.  They simply didnt want to shell out big money for a slightly built 34yr old receiver who’s game is dependant on out-running and out-jumping people.  It certainly seems that his skills have diminished since he first got here in 2007.  They also have a very young locker room and Belichick thought keeping the atmosphere good was more important than what Randy brought to the table. 

So, count me in the thumbs up category.  I think with Moss being gone it’ll be more difficult to make a 50yd play but I think being able to use Julien Edelman will make it easier to get the 1st down, which is the main thing I’m concerned with anyway.  We had no problem moving the chains and scoring touchdowns before we got Moss so I don’t believe the sky is falling now that he’s no longer here, we’ll get by.  On a different note, let’s all pray that Moss has a KILLER game against the Jets because it’ll hurt the Jets and because it will be a nice serviing of STFU to ass-clown Darelle Revis, who feels the need to talk smack about as often as Rex Ryan hits the buffet table.    



This results from the constart mantra I hear from sportscasters about how teams should go about picking players, how ‘the team should pick the best player available’ and there doesn’t seem to be much more behind that statement to give it context. 

Despite claims to the contrary the most effective strategery for selecting players is that which gives you the most impact, and this doesnt necessarily mean getting the best player.  Now I know this seems counter-intuitive but bare with me for a minute. 

Let’s take the Minnesota Vikings heading into the 2011 draft, now because Brett Favre is retiring (if you actually believe that please PM me ASAP as I have a FANTASTIC deal on some oceanfront property in Arizona I’d like to talk to you about), and the best player available is Runningback Mark Ingram, should they pick him because he’s the best player available?

So what that I have better chemistry with these guys than my receivers on the Vikings, at least I look cool in my Wranglers.

The “best” player is relative to the impact that player makes to your team, if the Vikings picked up Ingram he wouldn’t get much playing time because they already have Adrian Peterson, who I think is better than Ingram, and it would not address the giant gaping hole (no homo) they have at the QB position.  Ingram might be the best in absolute terms but it’s be a spectacular waste because it would do very little for the team, especially compared to how effective they’d be as a unit if they drafted a good QB. 

It all comes down to whatever will get you the most bang for your buck, somtimes that means trading down and getting several good players before you make a move for a great player and sometimes it means trading up and zeroing in on specific pieces of the puzzle, sometimes the sniper rifle sometimes the shotgun, ying/jan, each have their place. 


How to tell when someone’s full of shit. 

Do they feel the need to force and intimidate you or would they prefer to presuade you with reason?  If one has solid logic behind their argument then you can probably feel pretty secure that most people will see that the point is reasonable and agree with you, this isn’t an absolute lock as many people often have opinions that are based on emotion and an iron-clad argument from Spock himself won’t do the slightest bit of good but such is life. 

When it comes to the “climate change” debate there’s been a rather surprising and disgusting ad that’s been released, better than describe it I encourage you to take a look and judge for yourselves. 

Now, if the data supporting “climate change” (now referred to as “Climate disruption” in some circles) was THAT iron-clad would they need to try to intimidate people with threats of violence?

October 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Oh shit…NOT FAULK!

– Yes, the unthinkable has happened, Kevin Faulk is out for the season with a knee injury, and it absolutely sucks.  Even though Faulk was never invited to a Pro-Bowl the impact he’s has on the Patriots is profound: he’s the player who has constantly pulled an impossible first down out of his ass time and time again.  Faulk is also one of the few remaining Patriots with Superbowl rings (3) and absolutely epitomized the idea of a ‘team player’ with his quote “If cleaning the bathroom floors will help the team win, hand me a mop”. 

Not only is Faulk such a skilled player but he’s also incredibly versatile, playing Running back but he’s also lined up as a Wide Receiver, Tight End, Kick Returner, and he’s even taken direct snaps as QB and thrown a completed pass to Tom Brady. 

While most people usually think of “Tom Brady” as being the backbone of the Patriots unfortunately it’s no longer true, he’s no longer the skinny kid from Michigan who drove a beat-up pickup truck, now his world consists of  $10k Movado watches, swimsuit models, hobnobbing at the Kentucky Derby with various celebrities.  If you’ll recall during the playoff game last season when the Ravens mopped the floor with the Patriots it was not Tom Brady firing up the team and leading them, it was Faulk. 

I hope your surgery and time off go well, thanks for everything you’ve done. 


– This brings me to my next issue, with Faulk down our Running Back situation becomes even more precarious.  We have a relatively old and thin running corp., with 2 backs over 30 and the undrafted Ben Jarvus Green Ellis (Law Firm) who seems ok but he doesn’t exactly blow my skirt up, and we traded Maroney (which I am still completely in favor of, I HATED HIM and am still thrilled that he’s gone)  Ok, so were thin there, why not sign Derrick Ward when he was released from the Tampa Bay Bucs?

Apparently he didn’t jive with the coach there and he came to training camp out of shape, this kind of thing will be more and more common when players get big money guarantees in their contracts, no problem, you just give him a deal with little guaranteed money but with good incentives if he performs well, and constantly throw in his face the fact that he was cut from a shitty team. 

The guy is a young (by Patriot standards) runner and he’s very good running out of the shotgun, which we use a LOT in our offense (not that I agree with this though).  This was not to be, the Texans signed him soon after he was cut and that window of opportunity closed.  Seriously, why not sign him?  Let him come to training camp and at least compete for a job, if he sucks you can cut him at virtually no cost and it boosts the confidence of the guys you keep, and if you keep him then by default it’s an upgrade over what you had before. 

I also wanted to pick up Jason Taylor, who has routinely OWNED Matt Light throughout his career and subsequently terrorized Tom Brady.  I mean, even if he’s lost a step or two you still get a damn good player who provides veteran leadership and he’s also not on the opposing side.  His strip of Brady in this past Sunday’s loss to the Jet’s basically sealed the game, we couldn’t come back after that. 

"Well Jet's Fan, I'm only here because Miami or New England wouln't take me, but go fuck yourself anyway"

Ok, more lost opportunities, there was Brian Westbrook, who was in Free Agency for a long time before the 49ers signed him.  An aging vet like him can be signed for cheap and also cut if he doesn’t perform like the other guys.  Good reward potential with very little risk, and like Taylor he adds veteran maturity and leadership to a locker room.   

That's right bitch, you eat that fart!

It’s pretty damn disappointing to see your team fall apart right in front of your eyes, especially when they have the potential to skyrocket.  We threw away an absolute golden opportunity to destroy the Jets this season, after Sanchez opened his mouth about going 15-1 the New York media would have been over him like Rex Ryan over a Mongolian buffet table, and he would have cracked from the pressure.  Sexy Rexy’s chair would also begin to get a bit warm.  All we had to do was beat the damn Jets, but instead the coaching and playing was so horrible that we let mark Sanchez play like Tom Brady and Tom Brady played like Sanchez. 


While I’m not going to bash Brady at length today, I’ve done that in the past and I’ll probably do it soon enough (unfortunately) I would like to clarify at least one reason why I dispise them: their uniforms are just aweful, they remind me of the fucking Spearmint gum wrapper. 

I used to be a Jets player in a past life.

I wanna kiss you, I couldn't care less if you're just a phone, I wanna kiss you

So is it me or does one actually have to put in effort to make a uniform look so bland and stupid?  Also, what on that uniform has ANYTHING to do with an actual Jet?  They just have the “NY” inside a football shaped oval as their logo, what’s the deal with that?  Take a look at this logo, would the Jets be way cooler with this as their logo?

Credit to design goes to Frasier Davidson -

That would look MUCH cooler on the side of their helmets than what they have now.  One very important thing about that logo is that it incorporates a 3rd color, black.  All good uniforms (and flags) have 3 main colors, you just need that 3rd to provide balance and movement, otherwise the 2 just become booring and there’s no movement (hey, that’s true of political parties as well).  There have also been plenty of psychological studies black clothing’s effect on the wearer, they tend to act more violently, this is why SWAT teams use it extensively.  So, they need to throw in a little black (is it too early to make Gary Coleman jokes?) around the edges. 

Take this Jets uniform from the 80’s, this is WAY better than what they have right now, just add black and the above logo and you have a winner. 

Oh, and another reason why the Jets suck, their mascot: a bald idiot screaming at the top of his lungs with a fireman’s hat, what the FUCK does that have to do with a Jet?  Take a look at the New England Patriots, the macots are essentially Revolutionary War MinuteMen.  See the connection?  New England, where the revolution began, and we have “patriots” who were soldiers in that war. 

I guess that’s too logical for New York, they’d rather have this…makes me want to run out and become a Jets fan right now. 

"I'm not just the President of Jets nation, I'm also a client...of gay male prostitutes"

Oh, and 1 more reason why I hate the Jets: their fans are jerkoffs (exception being JT Thomas, I miss ya buddy)

I mean, seriously, what more needs to be said?

September 23, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Salvation…at last

Thank God, or the Great Pumpkin if that’s your thing (Marko), FALL IS HERE!  Not only does it mean a better night’s sleep but it means football season as well. 

I was officially welcomed by Fall this past Monday when I went to Union Street Grill in Newton Center to watch the Jets/Ravens game, I sat down to some Honey Hot wings (awesome) and the waitress told me of the different beers they have, the most welcome was Sam Adams Oktoberfest!  I went for the 23oz size and the icing on the cake was when she asked me if I wanted the rim dipped in brown sugar and cinnamon, oh blessed drink.

Seriously, if this and a stacked BLT doesn't make you want to renounce Islam then you're probably fucked in the head.

– Anyway, the Honey Hot wings have a magical blend of heat and sweet and are only 25 cents/wing, but be warned that they don’t allow you to take home what you don’t finish.  – On to the Jets/Ravens game, of course I was rooting for the Ravens because 1) I HATE the fucking Jets, 2) I like Joe Flacco and think he can develop into a fine QB but he needs some work, 3) I HATE the fucking Jets, and finally 4) I LOVE watching the Jets fail. 


Now, I have to be fair and I do admit that the Jets Defense is for real and will definitely be an issue for anyone that plays them, they do a great job of harassing the QB, and while that could definitely be an issue for the mobily challenged QBs like Tom Brady I think he has enough weapons to get the ball out of his hands quickly enough to mitigate the issue. One glaring problem with the Jets is that they played very sloppy and undisciplined on Monday night, they gave up 125 yds in penalties alone.  The play that encapsulated their sloppiness was when the Jets were deep in their own territory on what could have been their last play (4th and 10) and Sanchez manages to hit Dustin Keller right near the 1st down line, the problem was that he was a yard shy when he went out of bounds.  That is just flat out amateur, knowing the time on the clock and where the first down marker is SHOULD be at the forefront of any decent player’s minds. 

 I think one big reason for this sloppy play is the coaching style of Rex Ryan, who is always running his mouth about how great the Jets are and how they’re going to kick the hell out of everyone they play.  That being the case, how do you expect to motivate players to improve if you already have them believing they’re instopable badasses?  Contrast Ryan’s boasting style to Bill Belichick’s quiet and reserved style of never praising a player very much.  Even if the Patriots destroy a team and play INCREDIBLE football Belichick will briefly go over what was done correctly but he will then go on AT LENGTH about everything they did incorrectly.

 When that’s done the mistakes become smaller and less frequent, a great game by lesser standards becomes a so-so game for the Patriots.  ‘Walk softly and carry a big stick’ comes to mind.  And while I might be tempted to feel the slightest bit of pity for the Jets I then see Mark Sanchez open his mouth and the fleeting beginning of compassion vanishes, when asked about Joe Namath’s criticism of the Jet’s play he said “the sun had to set…there’s nothing wrong with going 15-1”

 This guy is simply assclown/idiot of the 1st order, instead of acknowledging his fuckups he simply falls back on false bravado.  It’s obvious he has no real confidence in himself, people with true confidence don’t feel the need to run their mouths.  Since Belichick now has a LOT more film on Sanchez than he did last year I think he’ll have a lot of good stuff planned for him. 

It’ll be damn entertaining to see the Jets squirm if they start the season 0-2, and since Sanchez doesn’t have any true strength to his character I think he just might crack sooner rather than later.  Before long I predict he will be thought of as a bust. 

– And speaking of the Jest, is it impossible for them not to act like a bunch of classless dickheads?  There were allegation of sexual harassment recently when reporter Ines Sainz visited the Jet’s locker room.  Now keep in mind that she is, by just about any standard, a piece of ass. 


Clinton Portis of the Redskins stated that ‘shouldn’t be in the locker room’, and while I actually agree with him that doesn’t excuse the fact that the Jets players are very obviously not respectful or professional.  Now, I’m not about to cry a river for Ms. Sainz, she’s obviously flaunting her body so it’s not shocking when it brings her attention in a manner that she might not appreciate.  If you’re going to dress provocatively then one should be prepared for attention, isn’t attention the reason they dress like that in the first place?

Back to the Portis issue, I agree that women shouldn’t be in the locker room but I also don’t think ANY reporter should be in the locker room.  Seriously, would you want someone you don’t know sticking a microphone in your face as you’re naked and trying to change?  Keep the reporters outside the locker room, it’s more respectful of the players and you’ll probably see the players have more respect for the reporters.  One final thought, are male reporters allowed in the locker rooms of female athletes?

 – How freaking awesome is the Battlestar Gallactica soundtrack?  Even if you never heard of the show and didn’t know the music was a theme to it you’d still have a diverse and awesome collection of music.  That being said, see the show anyway, it’s the best frakin TV show this decade. 


– The police are NOT your friends!  Take a look at this video, it gets real interesting at  6:12, notice how the police simply attack him.  Since they’re beating him repeatedly with their nightsticks, which could easily kill depending on where it hits the person, I’d like to know what actions of his are a lethal threat to the police or anyone else. 

That’s about as clear a case of assault with a deadly weapon as you can get, I wonder what will come of the ‘state and federal investigations’ involving those officers.  I want to see them prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law but that’s not likely, even though the police have much more power than regular people they’re often not held to the same standards.

September 19, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

If you don’t like the answer then don’t ask the question!

Ok, this shit pisses me off and has for sometime, it’s time these attention whores get called out for what they are. 

So, this young woman and her family go right into the middle of a downtown metropolitan area and start taking pictures of her while she’s sticking out her butt and then raising her leg in the air exposing her crotch (it’s ok when you call it “ballet”) and they are *SHOCKED* when a guy starts taping it. 

– First off, you’re in public bitches, people can tape, if you don’t want them to tape then go somewhere private. 

– Next, if you were very little and very revealing clothes then you’re inviting attention.  Getting pissed when you do that makes about as much sense as speaking very loudly and then getting pissy because people are ‘evesdropping on your conversation’. 

Try taking some fucking responsibility for you actions, and this applies to all females that were revealing clothes and then act offended when males look at those body parts that are revealed.  I have to wonder if they ever gave even a second of thought to their reaction or if they simply go along with what society tells them to, kind of like women who get pissed off when a males leaves a toilet seat up.     

Finally, this dickhead biker needs a beatdown, trying to be a ‘hero’ because these women are acting like fucking morons, I wonder if part of him thought he was going to better his chances of fucking the young girl.

August 29, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Patriot Games

Are you ready for some football?

Pre-season football is here, thank God, I was about to go crazy due to the lack of football since last winter.  So, where should I even start?  So much to cover.

– I was proved correct on Tory Holt, who was placed on Injured Reserve, and according to Belichick “will no longer accompany the team”.  Long story short, he’s done.  Maybe this is a kind way of cutting him but it doesn’t leave our receiving corp and stronger than it was before.  I wanted to sign Terrell Owens because they guy is a physical freak that can still get it done (just shy of 1000 yds on Buffalo’s offense) and he could have been had for cheap and cut if he sneezed the wrong way. 

Even if you think that Leopards don’t change their spots and want no part of TO we could at least have gotten Brian Westbrook, who would have provided an immediate boost to our lackluster running game, could have been had for cheap, and would have provided some much needed veteran maturity in a rather young Patriots locker room.   Shit, if you’re worried about his durability you could have him play receiver half the time, it’s not like he doesn’t have awesome hands, with his cutting ability he could probably run some fierce routes.

– Wes Welker is a fucking machine, nothing more needs to be said. 

– I thought Tight End Aaron Hernandez out of Florida looked rather lackluster in the preseason game against the Saints.  He’s not built like a traditional Tight End but rather is in the Dallas Clark mold of a tweener TE/WR.  I rather like tweeners provided they’re used correctly, by not being what the opposition is designed to deal with you can potentially create a mismatch. 

Anyway, he didn’t look like anything special, has a history of smoking weed, and rumblings out of Foxboro indicate that he’s a complete D-bag.  I could very easily see him becoming a problem down the road.  My pick for a TE tweener was Cody Slate, who went undrafted and was picked up by the Chiefs.  While I would like to say “let’s see how he does” it’s very tough to measure because they don’t have a O-line that could slow down a wet fart, so how will we be able to judge his effectiveness?

Which brings me to…

…Matt Cassel on the Chiefs.  I’m still pissed about this one, he goes to s suck ass team and everyone wants to throw him under the bus because the teams sucks.  Scott Pioli has drafted exactly 2 O-linemen since he took over.  I mean seriously, take a look at this and see how much time Cassel has before the D-line gets to him, unless he has receiver that are getting open right away he can’t do anything. 

1) What is the point of spending a bunch of money on a QB if you’re not going to protect him?

2) Since it looks like Super-genius Scott Pioli cannot figure this out I really have to wonder if he was actually holding the Patriots back as opposed to strengthening them. 

– Tebow’s Debut.  He’s still raw and reverted back to his elongated throwing motion that he had at Florida he managed to put together better numbers than Sam Bradford or Jimmy Clausen. 

Better than expected but not quite God-like just yet

Unfortunately Tebow responded to his critics by saying that “”I don’t know if that necessarily matters. I never listened too much to what people said”.  Ok, let me get this straight, there are plenty of people who have hundreds of combined years in the NFL who will attest to the value of a short, compact motion and who will also attest to the liability of as long motion that telegraphs your intent but you’re not going to listen to them because you played in…let’s see…part of 1 preseason game?  As Bill Belichick once said “Shut the fuck up, you’re a rookie and you don’t know shit”. 

What was all that talk about shortening your throwing motion and all the practice you did with the specialists you hired?  It’s starting to seem like an elaborate ruse you played on people in order to improve your draft stock.  Not very Christian if you ask me.   

I’m gonna make this real fuckin simple for you, extra distance means extra time, that’s tmie that a DB can get a read on what you’re doing and pick you off or time a linebacker has to strip the ball out of your hands.  Are you starting to see why that could be an issue? 

Lose the ego.  What you should have said was “Well, they have a point and that just means I need to work harder on improving”.  That would be the correct thing to say and it would also be the humble thing to say. 

Go home and watch some footage of Dan Marino and Tony Romo, they have very compact throwing motions.  Once you do that you should be practicing short, compact throwing motions every single night, it doesn’t have to be full speed, just get the feeling in your body about how you can generate power with a quick arc and then you can translate that into a throw.  Some liquid rave dancing would also help.     

– and speaking of Pride, will someone please tell Saint Tony Dungy to please go fuck himself.  I cannot stand him nor the way the media cannonizes him.  He recently spoke out against Jet’s Coach Rex Ryan, who actually seems like a great guy to have a few dozen beers with, because of his foul language on Hard Knocks.

"get over here Dungy, GET IN MAH BELLY"

1) Ryan’s job is to win games, if he can do that it might be a good idea to hire him.  You don’t not hire someone because he curses around players that also curse constantly.

2) Why haven’t you gone and fucked yourself already?  I told you to do that like 6 sentences ago, geez. 

I actually enjoyed the first episode of Hard Knocks, say what you want about Ryan but the fat motherfucker motives his players knows his football.  I don’t want a watered down show, I want it in all it’s ugly truth.  Oh, and by the way Saint Dungy, there actually are worse than swearing, dog fighting comes to mind.  This is yet another example of people making a big deal over something that’s inconsequential yet completely ignoring the elephant in the room that’s actually causing a problem.   

BTW, I don’t know if I mentioned this but Go Fuck Yourself, Tony. 

– Lateraling and Samoans.  These guys are just fucking beasts, I think the NFL should be totally scouring professional and high-level amateur Rugby players to see potential talent.  Allow me to introduce you to Jonah Lomu.

Put this guy in some pads and watch him wreak people.  At 6’5 and 270lbs he has unreal speed, this guy would make Brandon Jacobs his bitch.  While my good friend Angelo was critical, claiming that Rugby tackling is a joke compared to NFL tackling, he actually has a point, but one of the main reasons for this is the use of laterals.

By lateraling the offense creates big problems for the defense because their target is not where they thought it would be and they now have to deal with blockers where they didn’t think they would be. 

Many people say that lateraling is too dangerous and that’s why it’s not practiced, I have a few thoughts on that. 

– How often do teams actually practice lateraling?  They rarely if ever practice it, which means their skill at it is pretty low, which makes the risk higher.  So, if they started regularly practicing and working it into their plays and mindset their skill at it would go up dramatically, as would their success with it on the field. 

 – Even though they never practice it they use it when they’re down in their own territory when they desperately need a touchdown.  So they don’t make serious efforts to increase their skill at it yet use it when they need it the most, not smart, and when they fail at that people will log that example into their minds as why it’s a bad idea and this will stand out much strong than any examples where it was successful.   

 –  Risk of turnover.  Take a look at the passes thrown by a QB and ask yourself how many of those had a risk of being picked off.  Why is lateraling inherently more risky?  Even if a QB throws a pick they don’t risk losing their job because of it, and coaches don’t tell them to abandon the pass, instead we hear all about the NFL is now a ‘passing league’.  Then look at how often a turnover results from a pass v. running turnover and you’ll see that passing is a lot more risky than running, but no one is about to abandon the pass. 

– And finally, the Wildboar offense!  Forget those small cats, I’m talking about nasty hogs that weigh several hundred pounds each!  Ok, the visual is cool but I actually have something to back it up. 

"oh yeah...well at least I can multi-task"

Many of you know that I think most NFL teams draft and otherwise run their operations like crap, case in point: Sam Bradford.  I think the Rams picking this kid was a HORRIBLE move.  The Rams have more holes than plot in a Michael Bay movie, so why spend a ton of money and the first draft pick on a guy who barely played in his Senior year because he was injured, and otherwise always had fantastic protection from his O-line, which you can’t provide?

Trade that pick back into the 2nd round and pick up a ton of picks along the way and fill in the many holes on your team.  So, what do you do at QB?  Here’s where my Wildboar idea comes in, you get a few multi-talented players that can function as a QB/WR/RB and got to town.  Imagine if you had Michael Vick, Kordell Stewart, Troy Brown, and this guy (Jarrett Brown) in your offense at the same time. 

Take a look at how seamlessly he transitions from passer to runner and back, he’s a football player that can effortlessly become the specific role he needs at a given time.  Now, he went undrafted and was then drafted by the 49ers, I’d try to get a few of these guys and pay them 2 million a year instead of 1 QB making 15 million. 

The main idea is to shun traditional NFL wisdom of pursuing the specialist and to instead make the role of the generalist the specialized role.

By having several guys that can function in many ways you can create matchup nightmares for the opposing defense, think of the problems the Wildcat has given defenses and multiply that several times.  Of course you need a very creative Offensive Coordinator who will be able to effectively utilize all the talent on the team, otherwise you negate the main advantage you have.  Having several QBs also allows you to run the option and even so-called outdated offenses like the Wishbone and the Triple Option that Navy runs. 

You can very cheaply plug the QB position that way and build your team in the mean time, worst case scenario is that your teams sucks, but they suck now so why not at least do something different that a lot of people will want to tune into?

August 18, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment