Planetcaveman's Blog

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Fried Coke?

For all of you who are familiar with the Caveman way of life, we don’t endorse eating things your Caveman ancestors wouldn’t have eaten.  One should consider that while something has great power that power can be used both for good and for bad: while modern life has given us amazing things to extend our lives like anti-biotics and .40 caliber Glocks it’s has also given us ill health and Perez Hilton (in the old days useless people like him would have been sacrificed to appease the gods and we would have made soap from his bodyfat).

Civilization is a very recent result of technology, one that human evolution has not kept up with, this should be kept in mind when having a glass of wonderful Florida Orange juice.  Primative peoples living in my wonderful frozen home of New England would probably never eat an orange in their lives, and if they did how many would they eat at 1 sitting?  maybe 1 or 2.  When you have a tall glass of orange juice you’re getting the sugar from 5-6 oranges without the roughage of 1, our bodies are not meant to be doing that.  The level of diabetes (pronounced Dia-BIT-us by Wilford Brimley) should be no surprise to any informed Caveman or Cavewoman.

All that being said, I can’t stop thinking about fried coke.  A Southern friend of mine told about how this is a very popular snack food served at fairs, apparently the Southerners will deep-fry their heart medication of you let them.   My first thought was someone dumping a can of Coke into a frier but that doesn’t seem like it would go too well, I thought “hmmm, must investigate” (Yes, I stole that from the “Hot for Words” chick).


They actually used coke-flavored batter which they deep fry and then cover with Coke Syrup.  While it may sound kind of nasty apparently it’s beyond delicious.  While this might sound like a deep moral problem for the faithful Caveman I will take a page from the Catholic Church: it is ok to occasionally sin with fried Coke but one must make amends by performing 7 extra acts of Caveman behavior to spread the Caveman way of life.  That will take a little while to get into but for the mean time keep a tally of your indulgences, and for your homework give some thought to what living the Caveman way means.


August 13, 2009 - Posted by | Uncategorized

1 Comment »

  1. I still haven’t tried deep fried ice cream. I guess now I have something else to add to the list.

    Comment by naannook | August 18, 2009 | Reply

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