That’s the title to the bellow video debate between Fox’s Juan Williams and Fr. Jonathon Morris, regarding the new Arizona law intended to combat illegal immigration. While I actually don’t give a shit about their debate (Williams is practically a communist, and not even a smart one, and Morris has a very annoying voice and a stupid argument) I do think it brings up an interesting question which I shall address.
What would Jesus do about illegal immigration?
For starters, why does it matter?
This is America and we don’t make policy based on religion. If you want a splendid example of what happens when you run a government by religion take a look at Iran, where accused adulterers are stoned to death, or we could take a look at Taliban run Afganistan where a woman was executed by her sister (Camelshit smelling thugs had a gun to the sister’s head and would kill her as well if she didn’t pull the trigger) because she accidentally killed her husband while he was using her as a human punching bag.
Oh I know what you’re thinking: ‘those are Muslim Countries, obviously misled because they don’t have the one true faith (an oxymoron), if we had a Christian government everything would be swell’. Well, there was a time in European history when the government was run by the Church, it’s commonly known as “The Dark Ages” (Dark in comparison to the more peaceful and prosperous era under pagan Roman rule). Yes, Dark Age Europe, where simply believing something contrary to Church doctrine would earn you a chance to be a human kabob!
Thank God there was this thing called “The Enlightenment” where philosophers laid down the intellectual foundation for a secular government, and soon afterwards humankind saw the most rapid increase of prosperity in our entire history of our species.
Ok, now that that’s out of the way let’s just have some fun and think about what Jesus would actually do regarding illegal immigration. Seeing how Jesus was the son of God and all, I’m thinking he was probably pretty smart, and before a smart person tries to fix something they’ll ask “Why is this broken in the first place”? So, what’s broken in this situation?
In a word: Mexico. Yes, that’s right I said it, Mexico sucks. Since the standard of living there is far beneath that of the US many Mexicans come to the US to make a better life for themselves. The problem starts when Americans get frustrated by having to pick up the tab and when many Mexicans don’t feel the need to integrate and become Americans but rather they expect us to accommodate them.
Ok, so how does Jesus handle this situation? He starts by asking why Mexico is poor and why the US is wealthy, the answer is government and culture. If you have a government that protects property rights people actually have an incentive to become productive. Why work hard for something if your local Tony Soprano or government thug decides to take it and you have no legal recourse? If people have a reasonable expectation that their rights will be upheld they will generally be willing to undertake creative risk they otherwise wouldn’t. Do you expect a potential Thomas Edison to toil his life away if he cannot reap the rewards of his efforts?
Protecting property rights doesn’t just mean that we have courts to settle disputes, it also means that government isn’t restricting people’s ability to voluntarily transact business with one another. So if I want Fred down the block to sell my house that’s between myself and Fred, when cannot hire the job out to whom I chose but rather I can only contract the job out to a select group my right to contract with Fred is denied. Unfortunately this happens constantly throughout our society and the really sad part is that we generally have only a small fraction of the regulations and restrictions that 3rd world countries have, this is also a big reason why they’re 3rd word countries.
If an elderly woman in Guatemala needs to spend hundreds of hours standing in line at government agencies and spend thousands of dollars in fees in order to get a license to sell shirts she makes in her own home how much wealth is she going to create? She can work at some factory for pennies a day but God forbid she simply want to open up what is essentially her own business. If these people’s rights were upheld and they could create their own wealth Walmart wouldn’t be able to hire them so cheaply.
Now we have something that is more controversial, which has never stopped us here at Planet Caveman, the discussion of culture. Politically correct dipshits will claim that all cultures are inherently equal so no culture can be better or worse than another, the problem with that idea is that if we establish criteria first we absolutely can measure one culture against another, and my criteria is the facilitation of wealth creation. Yes, that’s right, I want to be able to have a society where I can provide for my family and live an enjoyable and peaceful life.
Some cultures don’t value earthly prosperity, they’d rather get their jollies by destroying everything pleasurable in this life to glorify a sadistic and violent desert god. That culture also tends to be dirt poor and backwards, exactly how many books were translated INTO Arabic in the last decade? How many Nobel peace prizes have people from Muslim countries won?
Similarly, if you have a pathetic machismo culture where it’s basically accepted for a police officer to be an entrepreneurial career should it really come as a shock when the police get into bed with kidnappers and drug cartels? How much justice do you expect when it is essentially sold to the highest bidder?
Finally we have the cultural value placed on delaying one’s gratification, a culture that praises one learning more useful skills which will later be turned into profit (over playing video games while smoking pot) will develop and prosper. OTOH, if you have a culture that looks down upon learning and professionally developing oneself (known by some as “selling out” or “going white”) the only accepted thing to do is stay poor. If your culture, as Chris Rock says, gives more respect to someone getting out of jail then someone earning a master’s degree they’re a culture that will remain violent and poor.
So, what does Jesus do about illegal immigration? He tells government nitwits that their job is to protect people’s rights rather than restricting them and he tells stupid people to get their head’s out of their asses. It’s not nearly as dramatic as giving welfare to generations of dependents in exchange for political support but it actually helps those poor people rather than making stupid liberals feel good about themselves while further impoverishing people.
After finding out that Marvel has decided to make a “Thor” movie by casting both a Black and Asian guy as Norse gods I’ve decided to take that concept and use it for my own movie. I don’t have anything inherently against either Black or Asian people but when you cast them as Norse gods it makes the movies about as ridiculous as casting Channing Tatum as Genghis Khan (it almost happened) or Michael Caine as Shaka Zulu.
Although many historical sources actually state that Genghis Khan had red hair and green eyes it seems plausible that he had some Caucasian blood, Central Asia is a very mixed area to begin with, so Channing Tatum isn’t quite as bad as initially thought aside from the fact that he’s a non-talented dipshit that can’t act his way out of a paper bag. Even though it might be historically accurate it is an epic fail from a dramatic point of view because it’s simply impossible to take seriously, this makes Marvel’s casting job even worse.
How awesome were Tadanobu Asano and Henry Cele as Genghis Khan and Shaka Zulu? Cele was downright frightening, I’ve even had nightmares about the character, you could easily see him having a BBQ with the bodies of captured enemy.
So, now that we’ve established via Marvel that we can simply throw casting accuracy to the wind I propose the historical epic of the decade, featuring George Takei as Martin Luther King!
“King: his dream woke a nation”
Not only do I want a multi-racial cast as both the blacks and whites but I want a red-headed Irish woman to play Coretta Scott King, a thick accented Dominican to play J. Edgar Hoover and a voluptious Thai woman as JFK. This would allow us to see some girl on girl action between JFK and Jackie Kennedy (Eva Mendes works for me).
I also think George Clooney would be perfect as Malcolm X.
John Williams to do the soundtrack or we could hire the guy who did the new Star Trek soundtrack if you wanted to give it some more edge.
For the opening scene we’d have King remember back to his youth in the rural South when he tried to get water for his horse by going into an all-White restaurent, King (this time played by a sephardic Jew) would request the water and one of the Whites (played by a Black man) would look at him and say “what are you doing in here, nigger”?. This would be King’s first encounter of overt racism and would fuel him in his struggle for equality.
The funny thing would be that the same Leftists that would call you a “racist” for complaining about “Thor” would be trying to prevent this movie from being made and calling it a disgrace to King’s legacy, which is kind of ironic. So, if I’m not allowed to complain about Thor then I think using my cast for “King” should be a testament to honoring King’s ideal of a color-blind society by not adhering to race within our casting.