Planetcaveman's Blog

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Oscar lock!

After finding out that Marvel has decided to make a “Thor” movie by casting both a Black and Asian guy as Norse gods I’ve decided to take that concept and use it for my own movie.  I don’t have anything inherently against either Black or Asian people but when you cast them as Norse gods it makes the movies about as ridiculous as casting Channing Tatum as Genghis Khan (it almost happened)  or Michael Caine as Shaka Zulu.

Although many historical sources actually state that Genghis Khan had red hair and green eyes it seems plausible that he had some Caucasian blood, Central Asia is a very mixed area to begin with, so Channing Tatum isn’t quite as bad as initially thought aside from the fact that he’s a non-talented dipshit that can’t act his way out of a paper bag.  Even though it might be historically accurate it is an epic fail from a dramatic point of view because it’s simply impossible to take seriously, this makes Marvel’s casting job even worse.

How awesome were Tadanobu Asano and Henry Cele as Genghis Khan and Shaka Zulu?  Cele was downright frightening, I’ve even had nightmares about the character, you could easily see him having a BBQ with the bodies of captured enemy.

Sorry, kid, we don't do "low-fat" here

Health Insurance is for pussies

So, now that we’ve established via Marvel that we can simply throw casting accuracy to the wind I propose the historical epic of the decade, featuring George Takei as Martin Luther King!

“King: his dream woke a nation”


Not only do I want a multi-racial cast as both the blacks and whites but I want a red-headed Irish woman to play Coretta Scott King, a thick accented Dominican to play J. Edgar Hoover and a voluptious Thai woman as JFK.  This would allow us to see some girl on girl action between JFK and Jackie Kennedy (Eva Mendes works for me).

I also think George Clooney would be perfect as Malcolm X.

John Williams to do the soundtrack or we could hire the guy who did the new Star Trek soundtrack if you wanted to give it some more edge.

For the opening scene we’d have King remember back to his youth in the rural South when he tried to get water for his horse by going into an all-White restaurent, King (this time played by a sephardic Jew) would request the water and one of the Whites (played by a Black man) would look at him and say “what are you doing in here, nigger”?.  This would be King’s first encounter of overt racism and would fuel him in his struggle for equality.

The funny thing would be that the same Leftists that would call you a “racist” for complaining about “Thor” would be trying to prevent this movie from being made and calling it a disgrace to King’s legacy, which is kind of ironic.  So, if I’m not allowed to complain about Thor then I think using my cast for “King” should be a testament to honoring King’s ideal of a color-blind society by not adhering to race within our casting.


April 11, 2010 - Posted by | Uncategorized


  1. The composer that penned the star trek soundtrack is Michael Giacchino.

    Comment by Frank | April 11, 2010 | Reply

  2. I think the point of the multi-racial casting is that those actors are playing *gods*, who can appear any way they want. Note they aren’t casting anyone but a blond male as Thor? Much as I agree with the idea of blond Norse-looking people in a Norse-esque movie, we have to remember that *this* movie is *fantasy*. Dr. King’s life, and Genghis Khan? Not quite fantasy.

    Comment by Susan | May 7, 2010 | Reply

  3. Do you really think the multi-racial casting is to illustrate the power of the gods? No gods were ever depicted as having Asian or African features in Norse mythology, they’re actually depicted as very similar to Nordic peoples, the Thor of Norse legend has red hair as opposed to blonde, so it’s not exactly like the comic book version but close enough.

    I think the multi-racial casting is simply to shove multi-culturalism down people’s throats like they always do, they might think it will give the movie more appeal to a broader range of people by having a token ________ person but I don’t buy that, if a movie is really good people will see it.

    The point of my rant is to point out the very obvious double standards that exist with regards to race, not only in movies but in everyday culture as well: why is “diversity” praised to make a majority white environment less white but you don’t see politically correct “racialists” trying to make Brown university more diverse by adding white people? I also think George Takei as MLK would be a riot.

    Comment by planetcaveman | May 7, 2010 | Reply

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