Planetcaveman's Blog

Just another weblog

If you don’t like the answer then don’t ask the question!

Ok, this shit pisses me off and has for sometime, it’s time these attention whores get called out for what they are. 

So, this young woman and her family go right into the middle of a downtown metropolitan area and start taking pictures of her while she’s sticking out her butt and then raising her leg in the air exposing her crotch (it’s ok when you call it “ballet”) and they are *SHOCKED* when a guy starts taping it. 

– First off, you’re in public bitches, people can tape, if you don’t want them to tape then go somewhere private. 

– Next, if you were very little and very revealing clothes then you’re inviting attention.  Getting pissed when you do that makes about as much sense as speaking very loudly and then getting pissy because people are ‘evesdropping on your conversation’. 

Try taking some fucking responsibility for you actions, and this applies to all females that were revealing clothes and then act offended when males look at those body parts that are revealed.  I have to wonder if they ever gave even a second of thought to their reaction or if they simply go along with what society tells them to, kind of like women who get pissed off when a males leaves a toilet seat up.     

Finally, this dickhead biker needs a beatdown, trying to be a ‘hero’ because these women are acting like fucking morons, I wonder if part of him thought he was going to better his chances of fucking the young girl.


August 29, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Patriot Games

Are you ready for some football?

Pre-season football is here, thank God, I was about to go crazy due to the lack of football since last winter.  So, where should I even start?  So much to cover.

– I was proved correct on Tory Holt, who was placed on Injured Reserve, and according to Belichick “will no longer accompany the team”.  Long story short, he’s done.  Maybe this is a kind way of cutting him but it doesn’t leave our receiving corp and stronger than it was before.  I wanted to sign Terrell Owens because they guy is a physical freak that can still get it done (just shy of 1000 yds on Buffalo’s offense) and he could have been had for cheap and cut if he sneezed the wrong way. 

Even if you think that Leopards don’t change their spots and want no part of TO we could at least have gotten Brian Westbrook, who would have provided an immediate boost to our lackluster running game, could have been had for cheap, and would have provided some much needed veteran maturity in a rather young Patriots locker room.   Shit, if you’re worried about his durability you could have him play receiver half the time, it’s not like he doesn’t have awesome hands, with his cutting ability he could probably run some fierce routes.

– Wes Welker is a fucking machine, nothing more needs to be said. 

– I thought Tight End Aaron Hernandez out of Florida looked rather lackluster in the preseason game against the Saints.  He’s not built like a traditional Tight End but rather is in the Dallas Clark mold of a tweener TE/WR.  I rather like tweeners provided they’re used correctly, by not being what the opposition is designed to deal with you can potentially create a mismatch. 

Anyway, he didn’t look like anything special, has a history of smoking weed, and rumblings out of Foxboro indicate that he’s a complete D-bag.  I could very easily see him becoming a problem down the road.  My pick for a TE tweener was Cody Slate, who went undrafted and was picked up by the Chiefs.  While I would like to say “let’s see how he does” it’s very tough to measure because they don’t have a O-line that could slow down a wet fart, so how will we be able to judge his effectiveness?

Which brings me to…

…Matt Cassel on the Chiefs.  I’m still pissed about this one, he goes to s suck ass team and everyone wants to throw him under the bus because the teams sucks.  Scott Pioli has drafted exactly 2 O-linemen since he took over.  I mean seriously, take a look at this and see how much time Cassel has before the D-line gets to him, unless he has receiver that are getting open right away he can’t do anything. 

1) What is the point of spending a bunch of money on a QB if you’re not going to protect him?

2) Since it looks like Super-genius Scott Pioli cannot figure this out I really have to wonder if he was actually holding the Patriots back as opposed to strengthening them. 

– Tebow’s Debut.  He’s still raw and reverted back to his elongated throwing motion that he had at Florida he managed to put together better numbers than Sam Bradford or Jimmy Clausen. 

Better than expected but not quite God-like just yet

Unfortunately Tebow responded to his critics by saying that “”I don’t know if that necessarily matters. I never listened too much to what people said”.  Ok, let me get this straight, there are plenty of people who have hundreds of combined years in the NFL who will attest to the value of a short, compact motion and who will also attest to the liability of as long motion that telegraphs your intent but you’re not going to listen to them because you played in…let’s see…part of 1 preseason game?  As Bill Belichick once said “Shut the fuck up, you’re a rookie and you don’t know shit”. 

What was all that talk about shortening your throwing motion and all the practice you did with the specialists you hired?  It’s starting to seem like an elaborate ruse you played on people in order to improve your draft stock.  Not very Christian if you ask me.   

I’m gonna make this real fuckin simple for you, extra distance means extra time, that’s tmie that a DB can get a read on what you’re doing and pick you off or time a linebacker has to strip the ball out of your hands.  Are you starting to see why that could be an issue? 

Lose the ego.  What you should have said was “Well, they have a point and that just means I need to work harder on improving”.  That would be the correct thing to say and it would also be the humble thing to say. 

Go home and watch some footage of Dan Marino and Tony Romo, they have very compact throwing motions.  Once you do that you should be practicing short, compact throwing motions every single night, it doesn’t have to be full speed, just get the feeling in your body about how you can generate power with a quick arc and then you can translate that into a throw.  Some liquid rave dancing would also help.     

– and speaking of Pride, will someone please tell Saint Tony Dungy to please go fuck himself.  I cannot stand him nor the way the media cannonizes him.  He recently spoke out against Jet’s Coach Rex Ryan, who actually seems like a great guy to have a few dozen beers with, because of his foul language on Hard Knocks.

"get over here Dungy, GET IN MAH BELLY"

1) Ryan’s job is to win games, if he can do that it might be a good idea to hire him.  You don’t not hire someone because he curses around players that also curse constantly.

2) Why haven’t you gone and fucked yourself already?  I told you to do that like 6 sentences ago, geez. 

I actually enjoyed the first episode of Hard Knocks, say what you want about Ryan but the fat motherfucker motives his players knows his football.  I don’t want a watered down show, I want it in all it’s ugly truth.  Oh, and by the way Saint Dungy, there actually are worse than swearing, dog fighting comes to mind.  This is yet another example of people making a big deal over something that’s inconsequential yet completely ignoring the elephant in the room that’s actually causing a problem.   

BTW, I don’t know if I mentioned this but Go Fuck Yourself, Tony. 

– Lateraling and Samoans.  These guys are just fucking beasts, I think the NFL should be totally scouring professional and high-level amateur Rugby players to see potential talent.  Allow me to introduce you to Jonah Lomu.

Put this guy in some pads and watch him wreak people.  At 6’5 and 270lbs he has unreal speed, this guy would make Brandon Jacobs his bitch.  While my good friend Angelo was critical, claiming that Rugby tackling is a joke compared to NFL tackling, he actually has a point, but one of the main reasons for this is the use of laterals.

By lateraling the offense creates big problems for the defense because their target is not where they thought it would be and they now have to deal with blockers where they didn’t think they would be. 

Many people say that lateraling is too dangerous and that’s why it’s not practiced, I have a few thoughts on that. 

– How often do teams actually practice lateraling?  They rarely if ever practice it, which means their skill at it is pretty low, which makes the risk higher.  So, if they started regularly practicing and working it into their plays and mindset their skill at it would go up dramatically, as would their success with it on the field. 

 – Even though they never practice it they use it when they’re down in their own territory when they desperately need a touchdown.  So they don’t make serious efforts to increase their skill at it yet use it when they need it the most, not smart, and when they fail at that people will log that example into their minds as why it’s a bad idea and this will stand out much strong than any examples where it was successful.   

 –  Risk of turnover.  Take a look at the passes thrown by a QB and ask yourself how many of those had a risk of being picked off.  Why is lateraling inherently more risky?  Even if a QB throws a pick they don’t risk losing their job because of it, and coaches don’t tell them to abandon the pass, instead we hear all about the NFL is now a ‘passing league’.  Then look at how often a turnover results from a pass v. running turnover and you’ll see that passing is a lot more risky than running, but no one is about to abandon the pass. 

– And finally, the Wildboar offense!  Forget those small cats, I’m talking about nasty hogs that weigh several hundred pounds each!  Ok, the visual is cool but I actually have something to back it up. 

"oh yeah...well at least I can multi-task"

Many of you know that I think most NFL teams draft and otherwise run their operations like crap, case in point: Sam Bradford.  I think the Rams picking this kid was a HORRIBLE move.  The Rams have more holes than plot in a Michael Bay movie, so why spend a ton of money and the first draft pick on a guy who barely played in his Senior year because he was injured, and otherwise always had fantastic protection from his O-line, which you can’t provide?

Trade that pick back into the 2nd round and pick up a ton of picks along the way and fill in the many holes on your team.  So, what do you do at QB?  Here’s where my Wildboar idea comes in, you get a few multi-talented players that can function as a QB/WR/RB and got to town.  Imagine if you had Michael Vick, Kordell Stewart, Troy Brown, and this guy (Jarrett Brown) in your offense at the same time. 

Take a look at how seamlessly he transitions from passer to runner and back, he’s a football player that can effortlessly become the specific role he needs at a given time.  Now, he went undrafted and was then drafted by the 49ers, I’d try to get a few of these guys and pay them 2 million a year instead of 1 QB making 15 million. 

The main idea is to shun traditional NFL wisdom of pursuing the specialist and to instead make the role of the generalist the specialized role.

By having several guys that can function in many ways you can create matchup nightmares for the opposing defense, think of the problems the Wildcat has given defenses and multiply that several times.  Of course you need a very creative Offensive Coordinator who will be able to effectively utilize all the talent on the team, otherwise you negate the main advantage you have.  Having several QBs also allows you to run the option and even so-called outdated offenses like the Wishbone and the Triple Option that Navy runs. 

You can very cheaply plug the QB position that way and build your team in the mean time, worst case scenario is that your teams sucks, but they suck now so why not at least do something different that a lot of people will want to tune into?

August 18, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

August rantings

– Converting in order to marry someone?

Ok, this is something that has been bothering me for quite some time: I don’t understand the how society seems to give a ‘thumbs up’ to people who change religions in order to marry someone.  It seems that few things could be more blatant a lie yet no one ever sees fit to call these people out as phonies.   

Suppose we have a Republican who wants to marry a Democrat, whose entire family are also Democrats, what would you think of the Republican that said “nope, I’m a Democrat now”?  I’d think that either 1) they really didn’t believe in what Republicans profess in the first place, or 2) deep down they do believe but are willing to live a lie in order to gain the acceptance of their new group that they want to fit in with. 

What does that say about them?  I think it’s rather pathetic that they feel the need to proclaim themselves something they obviously arent in order to get people to like them. 

What does it say about the new group they want to get in good with?  Either they’re 1) beyond stupid for actually believing that this person’s “conversion” is sincere, or 2) that deep down they don’t believe in their religion any more than the new “convert” does.  If you really believed in your faith why would you want someone making a mockery out of it by claiming to be an adherent when they so obviously “converted” simply out of utility rather than conviction? 

Also, what does it say about the relationship with one’s spouse, that is arguably the most important one a person will have?  That it can only exist if both parties mutually accept an obvious lie or are to dull to notice. 

I say we actually ask people if they actually believe their new religion any more than they apparently believed the old one, as their actions don’t exactly show a pattern of credibility.  It’s a very unfortunate state of affairs when people go through life without bothering to give the slightest bit of thought to how they’re living it. 

Summer weather still sucks

 I don’t think I need to really expand on this, it’s kinda obvious why sweating from your privates is uncomfortable, bring on the cold. 

– Football happenings

Ok, let’s start off with Patriot news, you can’t go 5 feet without hearing about how Tom Brady wants a new contract, I am so sick of him.  Even Peyton Manning, who I hate, has publically said that he ‘will play out his contract and go from there, as he has done throughout his career’.  I believe PG (Pre-Gisele) Brady would have said something similar but we haven’t heard anything like that from him. 

Oh, and did you hear about his wife’s comments on breastfeeding?  Long story short she wants a worldwide law to force women to breastfeed their children for at least 6 months after birth, even though she only did so for a few weeks.,2933,598528,00.html

You really don’t need much more than this to confirm that she’s arrogant/nutty and simply not in touch with reality, and it doesn’t bode well for Patriot’s fans that Brady is married to this woman. 

"...but after 3 hours of hair and make-up I'll be pretty"

I actually don’t know why we put these people on a pedestal anyway, these models look like they’re 10 minutes out of a concentration camp and they generally don’t look good without a ton of makeup, lighting, and photoshop.  I’d much rather look at women that have some curves to their bodies and who can look beautiful without makeup.

Also, Brady’s hair looks awful.  Last time I checked there isn’t a ratio that makes one’s on field performance inversely proportional to how stupid one’s hair is. 

"Go Kobe, beat the Celtics"

We missed a golden opportunity to trade Bady and keep Matt Cassel, who was playing better at the end of 08 than Brady played during all of 09 but it’s not too late, we can still unload Brady for a bunch of players/picks that we can use to rebuild the team and get us set for another dynasty. 

Come back, Kansas City doesn't deserve you.

– Ok, enough Brady bashing, now I’ll turn my ire to Belichick: we made a major mistake by not signing Terrell Owens, instead we got Tory Holt who has been looking old and slow at practice while TO has apparently been tearing it up with the Bengals.  TO would have been an immediate upgrade who was cheap and expendable, if he ran his mouth and caused problems they could have simply cut him, reinforcing that the team won’t tolerate nonsense.  If the younger players beat him out it gives them a tremendous boost in confidence, and you can cut him with little cost. 

Our receiving corp is only deep on paper, adding TO would have made it a lot more solid.  For all the reasons why it would have made sense to sign TO it would also have made sense to sign Brian Westbrook, who is still a free agent. 

– Predictions for this coming season

       The Jets will continue to not live up to their hype.

       Aaron Rodgers will be the best QB in the league.

       Manning will be even more dangerous with Anthony Gonzalez back and with Collie and Garcon having even more experience.  Even though I hate them they have a damn good chance at being a legit Superbowl contender. 

    Sam Bradford will be a BUST, if he even sees much action. 

    Tim Tebow, while not being a bust, will not be anything spectacular in his first 3 years in the league. 

   Jimmy Clausen will turn into a pretty solid QB.

   Gerald McCoy will be better than Ndamukong Suh.

August 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment