Planetcaveman's Blog

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August rantings

– Converting in order to marry someone?

Ok, this is something that has been bothering me for quite some time: I don’t understand the how society seems to give a ‘thumbs up’ to people who change religions in order to marry someone.  It seems that few things could be more blatant a lie yet no one ever sees fit to call these people out as phonies.   

Suppose we have a Republican who wants to marry a Democrat, whose entire family are also Democrats, what would you think of the Republican that said “nope, I’m a Democrat now”?  I’d think that either 1) they really didn’t believe in what Republicans profess in the first place, or 2) deep down they do believe but are willing to live a lie in order to gain the acceptance of their new group that they want to fit in with. 

What does that say about them?  I think it’s rather pathetic that they feel the need to proclaim themselves something they obviously arent in order to get people to like them. 

What does it say about the new group they want to get in good with?  Either they’re 1) beyond stupid for actually believing that this person’s “conversion” is sincere, or 2) that deep down they don’t believe in their religion any more than the new “convert” does.  If you really believed in your faith why would you want someone making a mockery out of it by claiming to be an adherent when they so obviously “converted” simply out of utility rather than conviction? 

Also, what does it say about the relationship with one’s spouse, that is arguably the most important one a person will have?  That it can only exist if both parties mutually accept an obvious lie or are to dull to notice. 

I say we actually ask people if they actually believe their new religion any more than they apparently believed the old one, as their actions don’t exactly show a pattern of credibility.  It’s a very unfortunate state of affairs when people go through life without bothering to give the slightest bit of thought to how they’re living it. 

Summer weather still sucks

 I don’t think I need to really expand on this, it’s kinda obvious why sweating from your privates is uncomfortable, bring on the cold. 

– Football happenings

Ok, let’s start off with Patriot news, you can’t go 5 feet without hearing about how Tom Brady wants a new contract, I am so sick of him.  Even Peyton Manning, who I hate, has publically said that he ‘will play out his contract and go from there, as he has done throughout his career’.  I believe PG (Pre-Gisele) Brady would have said something similar but we haven’t heard anything like that from him. 

Oh, and did you hear about his wife’s comments on breastfeeding?  Long story short she wants a worldwide law to force women to breastfeed their children for at least 6 months after birth, even though she only did so for a few weeks.,2933,598528,00.html

You really don’t need much more than this to confirm that she’s arrogant/nutty and simply not in touch with reality, and it doesn’t bode well for Patriot’s fans that Brady is married to this woman. 

"...but after 3 hours of hair and make-up I'll be pretty"

I actually don’t know why we put these people on a pedestal anyway, these models look like they’re 10 minutes out of a concentration camp and they generally don’t look good without a ton of makeup, lighting, and photoshop.  I’d much rather look at women that have some curves to their bodies and who can look beautiful without makeup.

Also, Brady’s hair looks awful.  Last time I checked there isn’t a ratio that makes one’s on field performance inversely proportional to how stupid one’s hair is. 

"Go Kobe, beat the Celtics"

We missed a golden opportunity to trade Bady and keep Matt Cassel, who was playing better at the end of 08 than Brady played during all of 09 but it’s not too late, we can still unload Brady for a bunch of players/picks that we can use to rebuild the team and get us set for another dynasty. 

Come back, Kansas City doesn't deserve you.

– Ok, enough Brady bashing, now I’ll turn my ire to Belichick: we made a major mistake by not signing Terrell Owens, instead we got Tory Holt who has been looking old and slow at practice while TO has apparently been tearing it up with the Bengals.  TO would have been an immediate upgrade who was cheap and expendable, if he ran his mouth and caused problems they could have simply cut him, reinforcing that the team won’t tolerate nonsense.  If the younger players beat him out it gives them a tremendous boost in confidence, and you can cut him with little cost. 

Our receiving corp is only deep on paper, adding TO would have made it a lot more solid.  For all the reasons why it would have made sense to sign TO it would also have made sense to sign Brian Westbrook, who is still a free agent. 

– Predictions for this coming season

       The Jets will continue to not live up to their hype.

       Aaron Rodgers will be the best QB in the league.

       Manning will be even more dangerous with Anthony Gonzalez back and with Collie and Garcon having even more experience.  Even though I hate them they have a damn good chance at being a legit Superbowl contender. 

    Sam Bradford will be a BUST, if he even sees much action. 

    Tim Tebow, while not being a bust, will not be anything spectacular in his first 3 years in the league. 

   Jimmy Clausen will turn into a pretty solid QB.

   Gerald McCoy will be better than Ndamukong Suh.


August 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

July randomness

– Humidity sucks!  In colder weather one can just put on an additional garment and you’re all set, it also spurns activity (the body will naturally want to move in order to generate heat).  It is just rather annoying when you’re sweating from all the various cracks and crevices in your body, I really look forward to Fall, not only is the weather civilized but it’s also FOOTBALL SEASON!

Oh Fall, how I miss thee.

– On that note, the NFL needs some serious help, while being on of the best organizations on the planet it’s showing signs of falling apart.  I guess it’s up to the folks here at PlanetCaveman to save the day:

– A new collective bargaining agreement is needed that has a rookie salary cap.  You have a broken system when rookies who have never played a single down in the league are going to sign for more money than has ever been paid to a QB, including those that have won multiple Superbowls.  This system prevents money from going to players that aren’t stars but who provide the unglamorous core of the team.

The league would be vastly better off if every rookie made the league minimum for the first year, with the ability for the team to renegotiate after year 1.  If the team didn’t want to renegotiate after year y chose not to then the player should be an unrestricted free agent at the end of the 2nd year, with the 2nd year salary being equal to what a 3rd player currently makes.

This would not only allow teams to make MUCH better decisions regarding monies paid to a player, throwing dozens of millions on first round busts like JaMarcus Russell would cease, allowing that money to go to other players who’ve proven themselves.

It would also allow teams to trade out of those early spots on the draft with ease.  The NFL claims to value parity among the teams but it clearly hasn’t worked, certain teams are consistently at the top of the league year after year and many of the same teams are still at the bottom.  One of the reasons for this is because right now teams don’t want to trade down to those very early spots because they’ll have to pay an absolute ton to those players.  If the financial costs was a non-issue a team would readily trade down to insure they get the players they want exchanging lower round picks in the process.

Having a bunch more picks would then allow those bad teams to fill their many holes much easier, thus allowing them to become competitive much quicker.  Take the Detroit Lions for instance, in the past 2 years they’ve given monster contracts to the #1 and #2 picks, this means a ton of money is being paid to very few players leaving very little to put in other places.

– That being said, most teams draft completely ass backwards.  What do I mean by this?  Suppose you live in the ghetto and wanted to get a rolls royce, how long will it take before it’s wreaked and/or stolen?  Maybe it would make more sense to buy a place in the suburbs and get Toyota in the mean time while you’re waiting for the new house to be completed.  When a team spends tons of money and rick on a rookie QB but doesn’t have an Offensive line to protect him he’s just going to get beaten like a rented mule.

This will not only make the QB physically less able to perform like you want him to but it’ll also mess him up mentally/emotionally, with all that fear reactivity in his head he’s not going to do what it takes to win but rather he’ll play to avoid getting hurt, which usually just leaves them getting hurt worse in addition to being ineffective.  Think David Carr.

If you want your team to win then you should build from the line out, this means beefing up your Offensive line, it’ll not only help allow the QB to throw the ball but it’ll also make the running game more effective, which by default forces the defense to keep more guys toward the line, opening up the backfield.

– What the hell is with all the MMA training that NFL players are doing, how exactly does grappling and punching bag work translate into football?  If you want to get them better then you need to find better ways of developing skills which translate into their play, case in point: Rob Gronkowski.  The Patriots drafted him despite him missing almost all of the 09 season due to a back injury, which he had surgery for.  Many scouts thought his movements were rather stiff, which knocked down his draft status, so what should one do with him to loosen his body (which will make him quicker and able to generate much more power)?

Thankfully the Patriots have not had him doing MMA training but they also haven’t had this guy do some training with the team.

Before you laugh remember that Hall of Fame receiver Lynn Swann was notorious for his ballet training, various dance training is among the best training one can do for coordinated strength.  I never did a gym workout that was a difficult as the few times I attempted to do some basic breakdancing, which forces the body to support its weight in many awkward positions.  Every talented breakdancer I’ve met has been strong as an ox.

Less time benchpressing and more time breaking, popping, and rave dancing would produce much more physically capable athletes.

– I’m tired of hearing about Tom Brady being unhappy that he doesn’t have a deal for next year.  I rather doubt that he even wants to be in New England next year, I think he’s just trying to create a situation where he looks like the good guy so he’ll have more leverage in getting to a west coast team.

If he holds out and decides not to go to training camp my respect for him will plummet, I don’t understand why players chose not to honor their contract because they want a new contract, which they then expect the team to honor.  If teams only give players raises when they do this then they’re getting what they deserve, the smart thing would be to give the raises to the guys that bust their ass and show up to camp and OTAs, bringing value to the team, and not caving in when players  hold out, reducing their value.

Anyway, I actually want them to trade him.  We did quite well with Matt Cassell as QB, who played much better at the end of the 08 season than Tom Brady played this season.  Trading Brady for a bunch of picks would allow the team to really get the building blocks of another dynasty.  We got him almost for free, went to 4 Superbowls with him, and then his knee got shredded and he’s been playing like crap and now wants huge money.

It was that the Patriots had balanced team that allowed them to win 3 superbowls, which turned Tom Brady into Tom FUCKING Brady. What is the point of giving him an enormous contract, when no one even knows what the salary cap will be, if it means the team is now top heavy with way too much money at the QB position, if it’ll ensure we no longer have a balanced team capable of going deep into the playoffs?

There’s little sense to throw giant money at a declining player, especially if it’ll cause that much harm to the team and when we can find someone to fill in good enough like we did with Cassel.  Maximize his trade value and ship him to the west coast where he wants to be, let’s start building the future.

– Kudos to Nick Mangold, Center for the NY Jets, who publicly stated that he would not hold out and would be at training camp.  Mangold is arguably the best Center in the NFL and he’s in the last year of his deal, while he has said that he wants an extension he values getting his team into the best possible position to win is more important.  THAT is the guy you give the extension to, lets see how competent the Jet’s management is.  All that being said, the guy has an awesome beard, all real O-linemen should have lumberjack beards.

Don't worry pal, the Patriots will sign you next year if the Jets give you the asshole.


In something totally unrelated it seems the down economy is bring out the stupidity in a lot of people.  I order some Thai food the other night and when I went to get it they were trying to charge me $3 more for a dish then they had listed on their website, which I refused to pay.  They claimed they needed to raise the price to deal with less business (again, due to the bad economy).  Ok, if you decide to charge more then maybe you should update your damn website.  Next, the more you charge the more it makes sense for me to get off my lazy behind and cook my own damn food.  I don’t really like going to the supermarket and cooking but it’s a helluva lot cheaper than going out or ordering take-out.  As the economy gets worse and worse I suspect we’ll see more of people doing it themselves, perhaps there’s some investment opportunity in that idea.


Does technology hurt us more than it helps us?

Since texting has become so common it seems that many people have lost the ability to actually speak on the phone, just today a female gave me her number but said that she probably won’t answer if I call her since she’s “not very good on the phone” but that she’ll be more than happy to text.  I don’t know about you but I find texting kinda annoying, it takes me a few minutes to text what it’ll take me seconds to say, so why are people so swept up in it?  I can understand that it makes one get to the damn point a lot quicker, I find it rather annoying when someone insists on telling a giant story before asking me for a favor, as though my pity for their situation will make me more likely to help them.

It seems to me that speaking on the phone is kind of like meeting them face to face but you don’t have the visual information, just the auditory information, which is a helluva lot more than you get from reading a damn email or text.  Speaking to the person also allows you to learn more about them in less lime than texting does.

People have been speaking to one another for as long as we’ve been able to speak, when one loses that ability or desire to speak in place of a damn text we’ve got some issues.


What the HELL has Heidi Montag done to herself?

This girl obviously has some issues, before her surgery I thought she was an attractive woman, very cute, but since her multiple surgeries she looks like a porn star Barbie doll.  She claims it was to enhance her career opportunities, the way I see it if she’s very talented as a singer/actress/whatever then she’s plenty attractive to succeed with her original looks, if she doesn’t have solid talent than all the implants in the world won’t make her successful.

Good luck, Heidi, I hope things work out.

July 26, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Casting Call – New England Patriots: The Dynasty

Ok, just to prove once again that I know better than Hollywood I’ve decided to cast the movie that will eventually be made about the Patriots, here goes.

Bill Belichick

played by Meatloaf, have him lose a little weight and throw him in a hoodie, done.

As Tom Brady…

…Dexter’s own Michael C. Hall, which is highly appropriate considering how Brady routinely murdered opposing defenses.

As owner Bob Kraft…

…William Shatner.

As Eric Mangini…

…Kevin James.

As Tedy Bruschi..


…Dean Cain, formerly Superman on TV’s Lois & Clark.

As Wes Welker…

…Tobey Maguire, who played Spiderman (but he’d really need to up his agility).

As Chad Pennington (enemy)…

…lame dipshit Michael Cera.

As Mike Vrabel…

…uber manly Scott Adkins.

As Randy Moss…

…Chris Rock.

As hard hitting Safety Rodney Harrison…

…long lost twin Eric King of “Dexter”.

As versatile Kevin Faulk…

…who else but Troy Brown!  In a surprising plot twist we will eventually see Brown play every other character in the movie towards the end.

So there you have it, a kick ass movie about one of football’s greatest teams ever, and a MUCH better casting job than Hollywood could ever do.

June 22, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Immigration reform – Caveman style

For anyone that hasn’t been hiding under a rock the past few years would know that immigration has been a hot topic lately, unfortunately and as usual there has been plenty of bullshit thrown around and very little truth in the discussion, so today I will serve a thousand points of no baloney regarding immigration.

Ok, so what it the hype about?  In general there are plenty of people coming to the US to take advantage of the possibility for a better life here than in their own countries, this should be no surprise considering that most of the immigrant’s homelands are 3rd world Socialist shitholes (3rd world and Socialist shithole tend to go together a lot, don’t they?).  Socialism has turned Russia, East Germany, China, Vietnam, Cuba, etc, into impoverished tyrannies that people risk their lives to get out of, so should we open our doors to all of them?

The problem comes when those people who want to come here start demanding all sorts of government handouts that will result in The USA becoming a Socialist shithole just like the place they’re coming from, this happens all the time when Massholes (people from Massachusetts) come to NH to escape the oppressive taxation in Massachusetts and then they start demanding all sorts of government “services” be provided to them.  Personally I’d like to welcome these people at the border with a baseball bat and a shovel, if someone doesn’t even have the basic level of intelligence to see that getting “free” stuff from the government really just means you’re robbing others who wouldn’t fund those projects willingly then I don’t see what good can come from having such morons as neighbors.

Yeah, we don't have any use for you, please go home.

It doesn’t have to do with race, I’d be just as willing to do my best Bear Jew impression for a pale Irish guy from Southie as I would be for a Mexican, and I don’t think race is the main issue for most people who want the Feds to actually enforce immigration laws, it has to do with economics and culture.  For starters, why would I want more people in the country is my taxes go up as a result of them?  The simple fact is that most Mexicans coming here are poor, this doesn’t make them bad but it will very likely mean that those here will have to pay the tab on the education, medical, and other government expenses that Americans will have to pick up the tab on.

Now, some people will claim that this is a bad argument because those cheap labor illegals are performing a service since the supply of those services has increased relative to demand that the price for that service has declined and that Americans would have to pay higher prices for those goods/services if the illegals were to leave.  This is actually true, having cheap illegals does makes the price of those services less expensive, but what those people are unfortunately leaving out of the equation is 1) the price of government for those illegals, and 2) the decreased wages that the American underclass can command for that unskilled labor.

Anything provided by the government is always more expensive that if that product were provided by the market,  this why education, healthcare, court and prison costs we need to pay quickly outweigh any economic benefit we might obtain by having illegals work cheaply here, it very quickly becomes a net negative.  Those government expenses must also be taken into account for Americans here, whose wages for many unskilled labor positions have actually decreased over the last decade, this is especially shocking considering the degree of inflation we’ve actually had in the US (as opposed to what Ben Bernanke claims we’ve had).

So, suppose wages for a position go up $500/month for a position, if that means we can get someone off of welfare that means we don’t have to pay them $2,500/month, a net gain of $2,000 saved.  That seems like a pretty damn good deal to me.

Ok, now that we’ve addressed the economic issue let’s take a look at the cultural one and leave out the bullshit: we want the people that want to be on our team, we don’t want people who are going to demand that we accommodate them.  I have no interest in paying extra taxes so that children who only speak Spanish can have separate classes in Spanish.  Aside from wasting extra money (always ranking very high on the government’s list) the only reason to give Spanish speaking children classes in Spanish is to keep them from learning English.

It is beyond dispute that the best way to learn a language in the shortest amount of time is to completely immerse them in the new language, when the CIA wants to get a spy speaking a new language in record time they immerse them in it, it just plain works.  It’s also inspiring/depressing that I’m met many immigrants who have come to the US not speaking a lick of English, who after 5 years here can speak significantly better English than many people who have lived here their entire lives.

We don’t want to become Northern Mexico or even Sweden or Pakistan for that matter, we don’t like to hear about assholes taking down the US flag so a Mexican flag can be raised in it’s place or some Jihadi piece of shit who did an honor killing on his daughter, this is America and we don’t do that shit here.  If you want to be on our team you need to pay the price, and that means speaking the fucking language and simply dealing with it if someone wants to draw Mohammad.

I wonder what their stance is on the 1st Amendment

If people want the prosperity that America offers they can 1) change their own government/culture to become more like us or 2) they can follow our rules and come into America through the front door.

So, how should we reform immigration policy?  For starters we should streamline the process for people we want to bring in, I know a LOT of immigrants and have seen, firsthand, all the hoops that need to jump through to satisfy Uncle Sam, a simpler and faster process means that people can come in and start generating wealth that much faster.

Next, our criteria and priority for who we allow in should be based on what they bring to the table.  If a potential immigrant is college educated, speaks English, has family here, can put money into an escrow account in case we need to later deport them, and is a neurosuregon who will be making 400k/year, step to the front of the line.  Someone who doesn’t speak English and is only skilled at cutting grass, back of the line, we already have people who can do that job.

The simple fact is that we cannot accommodate unlimited immigration, that being the case we need to distinguish between those who can do the most good for the country and everyone else.

And finally, the last piece of the immigration puzzle is 1) cut off any government benefits to illegals and 2) to fine the shit out of companies that knowingly employ illegals, trying to deport all the illegals would be terribly costly and is a bad idea, if the Feds simply fined every company that knowingly employs illegals 25k/violation they would fire them in short order, no work to do means the only option is to go back to their home country.

That’s it in a nutshell, take those steps and the problem goes away, but until we demand that representatives (that’s right, REPRESENTatives, they represent us, they’re not “lawmakers”) look out for our interests and not their own corrupt power politics we will simply get more of the same nonsense.

May 30, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Self-defense tips from Planet Caveman

1 – Don’t piss off people if you don’t have to.

Yeah, the old guy down the block might be a bit nutty but that just makes even more reason why you shouldn’t cross paths with him, especially if it means allowing your dog to piss on his lawn.  For the record, the old guy has no right to shoot the other guy because of the dog pissing on his lawn, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.  Here’s a nasty joke: what’s the difference between men’s and women’s self-defense?  You don’t need to tell the man not to jog through the park at 3am.

Yes, a woman is completely within her rights to jog through that park but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, unfortunately reality doesn’t magically conform to the way we think it should be, don’t fight it, just accept it and you’ll be better off.

If someone wanted to wear a Klan robe while walking through Harlem most people would probably think he’s a fucking idiot, but somehow many people don’t get that generally being a dick isn’t a stupid idea.  To quote Vinnie Antonelli from “My Blue Heaven”: Why make war?

Who knew I was a self-defense expert?

2 – Don’t bring strangers into your home.

If you’re going to sell something of significant value it would be best to do it away from your home, ideally with some backup in a public place, and you’d take an alternate route home to make sure no one’s following you.  The basic idea is that every person is a potential attacker, this doesn’t mean that you should view everyone else as a bad guy, that would mean living in a paranoid state your entire life which is not very productive, but it’s a good idea to keep in mind that people, especially one’s you don’t know very well, could be an aggressor.

3 – Criminals are not looking for challenges, they’re looking for victims.

It pays to keep a low profile, one is less likely to attract attention by driving a Toyota to the mall as opposed to a brand new convertible Mercedes, flashing one’s wealth will only attract unwanted attention.  It also pays to be and look like you’re aware of your surroundings, being engrossed in a  phone call or your Ipod while you’re walking around makes you look like an easy target.

I once spoke with drug addict who admitted to robbing and beating hundreds of people over a few decades, he also had an astonishingly high rate of “scores (people who had a lot of money on them).  His secret: he went for the easy targets who looked like they had something on them, people who had a worried uneasiness about them in their movements and facial expressions.  People who looked like they just didn’t care but took note of their surroundings were not worth the trouble they were likely to cause, so they were left alone.

Ok, there you have it, free self-protection advice that can be gleamed from your everyday news sources, the truth is that amazing lessons are available everywhere in life, you just need to be open to them in order to learn.

May 16, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Is it me or does Ted Danson look like a lesbian?

May 13, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What did the Jihadi say to the Mexican on Cinco de Mayo?

Intimidation works…if you dealing with pussies.

Most of you probably know that for the first time since it’s been on air Comedy Central has censored South Park, I’m not talking about bleeping an F-bomb or anything like that, they bleeped out a 30 second speech by Stan, the part where one of the kids explains the moral of the story, in this case his speech was about not giving in to a bully’s demands because it will only make that bully more likely to bully you.  That’s because you’re essentially telling the bully that bullying works, that being the case why not do more of it?  This is the reason why Israel’s “land for peace” idea was not only stupid in theory but it was a disaster in practice as well.

It seems that the current opinion of those in the entertainment world is to stick their heads in the sand and make any critical talk of Islam verboten.

What is especially ironic about this is that many people in the entertainment industry are Jewish, and Jews are likely to be the 1st targets of Islamic violence.  Take a look at what’s happening in Europe, Jews are routinely being attacked by the growing number of Muslims there.  I would hope common sense would overcome Jews and they’d be adamant about not giving into the demands of radical Muslims but I guess common sense isn’t in style this season.

Ironically it seems that the only common sense being applied is by a bunch of shithead Mexicans, who are unfortunately taking up space and air in the US, they’ve seen that making demands usually gets others to cave and they to decided aggressively demand that no student in their high school be allowed to wear clothes with an American flag on Cinco de Mayo.  One of the Mexican students, Annicia Nunez, said “I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day, we don’t deserve to be get disrespected like that”.

Ok, so because the Mexican’s beat the French at a battle in Mexico in 1862 it’s disrespectful for an American to wear an American flag in 2010, what the fuck does one have to do with the other?  I wonder what would happen if a “Mexican-American” had decided to burn an American flag, on Cinco de Mayo, the 4th of July or any other day.  I would bet you’d see liberals come out of the woodwork to support their right to self-expression.

What makes this even more interesting is that Assistant Principal Miguel Rodriguez claims to have told the students to turn their shirts inside out was to avoid violence, Rodriguez told the students he did not want any fights to break out between Mexican-American students celebrating their heritage and those wearing American flags.

So instead of punishing any aggressors who start fights the solution is to tell the American students to turn in their shirts?  Why are the Mexicans allowed to wave the Mexican flag and paint their faces, why not tell them to lower their colors to avoid conflict?  Incidentally, if celebrating Cindo de Mayo really is about celebrating Mexican culture why are they waving a political flag?  A nation’s flag represents the regime in charge of a country, that’s why the Russian flag is different than the Soviet one, this doesn’t have anything to do with culture.  On that note I also have an issue with people waving the Irish flag here on St Patrick’s day, a Shamrock flag would be expressing the Irish culture, not the Irish state.

Cheer up kid, you have a lot of Guinness, potatoes, and fights to look forward to.

Finally, why are Mexicans who find the American flag offensive even here?  It’s obvious that they’re Mexicans and not Americans, so why don’t they go back there?  This is different from an American who might be of Mexican background, I have no problem with them and neither does anyone I know.  Liberals love to claim that Americans, especially non-Democrats, are racist.

Could it be that many Americans don’t like shitheads from other countries coming to our’s who then tell us to bend over for them? That’s all about not liking a rude asshole, it has nothing to do with the person’s racial phenotyope.  It’s especially rude considering the entire reason those Mexicans are here is because Mexico is a poverty stricken shithole and this is a MUCH better place to live, I wonder if that might have something to do with having too many ignorant and macho Mexicans in Mexico.

Anyway, so what can you do about this?  For starters I recommend posting this picture of Mohammad on your website.  The more people that do so the more the message will be sent that we won’t be intimidated by Jihadis expecting us to bend over for them.  I would also recommend wearing t-shirts with Americans flags on them for the same reason.  If any of you have any suggestions feel free to voice them.

America, Fuck Yeah!

May 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Random May Madness!

What the hell is wrong with people on Facebook?

I think SouthPark summed it up with this clip quite nicely.  

I look at facebook as a way to communicate with friends and to get in touch with people who I’ve lost touch with, I really don’t understand this need to “friend” people for it’s own sake.  For instance, a few months back I got a friend request from someone I knew in grade school and then didn’t have much to do with in high school and virtually no contact since.  I accepted the request and we exchanged a few pleasantries, no big deal, but then they sent me multiple invites to support their spouse.  Keep in mind I never met the spouse, don’t know a thing about their politics,  nor live in the state they’re in, why would they ask for my support?

I might be a bit old school here but I don’t see how you can “support” people you know nothing about and still have you’re word count for anything.  That being said, what kind of a person asks a person to support someone they don’t know, and does so being fully aware that person A doesn’t know Politician X?

Sorry but Facebook is kinda getting out of hand, one’s value in internetland does not determine one’s value in the real world.


The changing of the guard has occurred, Thai food is now the King!

Those of you who are familiar with our tastes here at PlanetCaveman know that we’re unrepentant carnivores, and because of that we have a deep fondness for Portuguese/Brazilian BBQ joints, and while they still hold a very special place in my heart I am forced to now conclude that Thai food is better, there is simply much more variation with Thai food which make for more interesting tastes.  Thai food still allows one to go the Caveman route and have the meal be overwhelmingly meat, meat is simply a very small portion in most restaurants because the people running them are cheap, and they also tend to be much smaller than most Anglos, hence the smaller portion.

If you’re in the Boston area I wholeheartedly recommend Chilli Duck and Brown Sugar, there are also great smaller places but you have to look around a bit because they can vary quite a bit in quality and value.

I recently had a papaya salad called Som Tum, which was easily one of the most interesting and without a doubt THE spiciest dish I’ve ever eaten, there was such an interesting contrast of tastes that made it irresistible to eat despite making my mouth numb for 30 minutes after I ate it.  If they can manage to calm down on the spiciness a bit I think it would be magnificent.

So, if you can find a quality Thai place serving real Thai food give it a shot, you won’t be disappointed.


If it’s done in Mass it’s done half-ass.

Yep, that pretty much sums up just about any type of government activity but here in Massachusetts we take pride in our government being more incompetent than others.  Lately I’ve become rather incised at the traffic I deal with in my commute, while simple congestion is part of it that problem is tremendously aggravated by constant and shitty construction projects.  I know the reason for it, it allows the government to spend money and it lines the pockets of the unions who do (or rather DON’T do) the construction.

I really wish democrats would just once grow the balls to have a little consistency, think about the amount of gas wasted when cars are just sitting on the highway like a parking lot, that can’t be good for the environment.  Doesn’t it also take money out of the hands of the working people who have to piss away their time and gas by sitting there?


Tom Brady won’t play in New England after 2010.

If the knee injury wasn’t enough, or the 22k square foot house he’s building in LA, you really don’t need to look much farther than his constant slip into celebrity world.  Barry Bonds is a fucking racist steroid loving scumbag and to see the future former #12 joking around with him like old buddies makes me kinda sick.


We’re part Neanderthal!

C’mon, do you really think those of us at PlanetCaveman are disappointed at this revelation?  Embrace your inner caveman, you’ll be healthier, wealthier, and wiser for having done so.

LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER...well, more like your great grandfather 1000 generations beforehand...but we're still related, kinda.


The one true faith?

This is something that has pissed me off for a long time, there really is nothing like an arrogant asshole who won’t hesitate to tell you why you’re a piece of crap for not adhering to “the one true faith”, and for some reason everyone is always convinced that it’s their faith that’s the right one, despite the fact that all the other groups think the same way.

Anyway, do “true” and “faith” actually jive?

“True” means ‘consistent with fact or reality’, this is usually ascertained by observing reality, if I want to find out the rate of acceleration due to gravity I can grab a stopwatch and drop something from a high place, that’s how we know something’s true.  Now, let’s take a look at faith, it’s “a belief not based in fact”, by it’s very definition a faith cannot be true, if you have verifiable proof of something it’s no longer faith.

Look at it this way, if Jesus appeared out of thin air and revealed himself to you do you really think you’d deserve credit for believing in him after that?  I mean, maybe a little if not for having some common sense, seriously who wants to piss off a guy that can turn you into a barrel of wine?


Endorsement time!

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Epic Quote

“Pride is a poor substitute for intelligence”

– Lt. Col. Podovsky

May 7, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What would Jesus do about illegal immigration?

That’s the title to the bellow video debate between Fox’s Juan Williams and Fr. Jonathon Morris, regarding the new Arizona law intended to combat illegal immigration.  While I actually don’t give a shit about their debate (Williams is practically a communist, and not even a smart one, and Morris has a very annoying voice and a stupid argument)  I do think it brings up an interesting question which I shall address.

What would Jesus do about illegal immigration?

For starters, why does it matter?

This is America and we don’t make policy based on religion.  If you want a splendid example of what happens when you run a government by religion take a look at Iran, where accused adulterers are stoned to death, or we could take a look at Taliban run Afganistan where a woman was executed by her sister (Camelshit smelling thugs had a gun to the sister’s head and would kill her as well if she didn’t pull the trigger) because she accidentally killed her husband while he was using her as a human punching bag.

Oh I know what you’re thinking: ‘those are Muslim Countries, obviously misled because they don’t have the one true faith (an oxymoron), if we had a Christian government everything would be swell’.  Well, there was a time in European history when the government was run by the Church, it’s commonly known as “The Dark Ages” (Dark in comparison to the more peaceful and prosperous era under pagan Roman rule).  Yes, Dark Age Europe, where simply believing something contrary to Church doctrine would earn you a chance to be a human kabob!

Thank God there was this thing called “The Enlightenment” where philosophers laid down the intellectual foundation for a secular government, and soon afterwards humankind saw the most rapid increase of prosperity in our entire history of our species.

Ok, now that that’s out of the way let’s just have some fun and think about what Jesus would actually do regarding illegal immigration.  Seeing how Jesus was the son of God and all, I’m thinking he was probably pretty smart, and before a smart person tries to fix something they’ll ask “Why is this broken in the first place”?  So, what’s broken in this situation?

In a word: Mexico.  Yes, that’s right I said it, Mexico sucks.  Since the standard of living there is far beneath that of the US many Mexicans come to the US to make a better life for themselves.  The problem starts when Americans get frustrated by having to pick up the tab and when many Mexicans don’t feel the need to integrate and become Americans but rather they expect us to accommodate them.

Ok, so how does Jesus handle this situation?  He starts by asking why Mexico is poor and why the US is wealthy, the answer is government and culture.  If you have a government that protects property rights people actually have an incentive to become productive.  Why work hard for something if your local Tony Soprano or government thug decides to take it and you have no legal recourse?  If people have a reasonable expectation that their rights will be upheld they will generally be willing to undertake creative risk they otherwise wouldn’t.  Do you expect a potential Thomas Edison to toil his life away if he cannot reap the rewards of his efforts?

Protecting property rights doesn’t just mean that we have courts to settle disputes, it also means that government isn’t restricting people’s ability to voluntarily transact business with one another.  So if I want Fred down the block to sell my house that’s between myself and Fred, when cannot hire the job out to whom I chose but rather I can only contract the job out to a select group my right to contract with Fred is denied.  Unfortunately this happens constantly throughout our society and the really sad part is that we generally have only a small fraction of the regulations and restrictions that 3rd world countries have, this is also a big reason why they’re 3rd word countries.

If an elderly woman in Guatemala needs to spend hundreds of hours standing in line at government agencies and spend thousands of dollars in fees in order to get a license to sell shirts she makes in her own home how much wealth is she going to create?  She can work at some factory for pennies a day but God forbid she simply want to open up what is essentially her own business.  If these people’s rights were upheld and they could create their own wealth Walmart wouldn’t be able to hire them so cheaply.

Now we have something that is more controversial, which has never stopped us here at Planet Caveman,  the discussion of culture.  Politically correct dipshits will claim that all cultures are inherently equal so no culture can be better or worse than another, the problem with that idea is that if we establish criteria first we absolutely can measure one culture against another, and my criteria is the facilitation of wealth creation.  Yes, that’s right, I want to be able to have a society where I can provide for my family and live an enjoyable and peaceful life.

Some cultures don’t value earthly prosperity, they’d rather get their jollies by destroying everything pleasurable in this life to glorify a sadistic and violent desert god.  That culture also tends to be dirt poor and backwards, exactly how many books were translated INTO Arabic in the last decade?  How many Nobel peace prizes have people from Muslim countries won?

Similarly, if you have a pathetic machismo culture where it’s basically accepted for a police officer to be an entrepreneurial career should it really come as a shock when the police get into bed with kidnappers and drug cartels?  How much justice do you expect when it is essentially sold to the highest bidder?

Finally we have the cultural value placed on delaying one’s gratification, a culture that praises one learning more useful skills which will later be turned into profit (over playing video games while smoking pot) will develop and prosper.  OTOH, if you have a culture that looks down upon learning and professionally developing oneself (known by some as “selling out” or “going white”) the only accepted thing to do is stay poor.  If your culture, as Chris Rock says, gives more respect to someone getting out of jail then someone earning a master’s degree they’re a culture that will remain violent and poor.

So, what does Jesus do about illegal immigration?  He tells government nitwits that their job is to protect people’s rights rather than restricting them and he tells stupid people to get their head’s out of their asses.  It’s not nearly as dramatic as giving welfare to generations of dependents in exchange for political support but it actually helps those poor people rather than making stupid liberals feel good about themselves while further impoverishing people.

Stupid Fox video  ——->

April 30, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Oscar lock!

After finding out that Marvel has decided to make a “Thor” movie by casting both a Black and Asian guy as Norse gods I’ve decided to take that concept and use it for my own movie.  I don’t have anything inherently against either Black or Asian people but when you cast them as Norse gods it makes the movies about as ridiculous as casting Channing Tatum as Genghis Khan (it almost happened)  or Michael Caine as Shaka Zulu.

Although many historical sources actually state that Genghis Khan had red hair and green eyes it seems plausible that he had some Caucasian blood, Central Asia is a very mixed area to begin with, so Channing Tatum isn’t quite as bad as initially thought aside from the fact that he’s a non-talented dipshit that can’t act his way out of a paper bag.  Even though it might be historically accurate it is an epic fail from a dramatic point of view because it’s simply impossible to take seriously, this makes Marvel’s casting job even worse.

How awesome were Tadanobu Asano and Henry Cele as Genghis Khan and Shaka Zulu?  Cele was downright frightening, I’ve even had nightmares about the character, you could easily see him having a BBQ with the bodies of captured enemy.

Sorry, kid, we don't do "low-fat" here

Health Insurance is for pussies

So, now that we’ve established via Marvel that we can simply throw casting accuracy to the wind I propose the historical epic of the decade, featuring George Takei as Martin Luther King!

“King: his dream woke a nation”


Not only do I want a multi-racial cast as both the blacks and whites but I want a red-headed Irish woman to play Coretta Scott King, a thick accented Dominican to play J. Edgar Hoover and a voluptious Thai woman as JFK.  This would allow us to see some girl on girl action between JFK and Jackie Kennedy (Eva Mendes works for me).

I also think George Clooney would be perfect as Malcolm X.

John Williams to do the soundtrack or we could hire the guy who did the new Star Trek soundtrack if you wanted to give it some more edge.

For the opening scene we’d have King remember back to his youth in the rural South when he tried to get water for his horse by going into an all-White restaurent, King (this time played by a sephardic Jew) would request the water and one of the Whites (played by a Black man) would look at him and say “what are you doing in here, nigger”?.  This would be King’s first encounter of overt racism and would fuel him in his struggle for equality.

The funny thing would be that the same Leftists that would call you a “racist” for complaining about “Thor” would be trying to prevent this movie from being made and calling it a disgrace to King’s legacy, which is kind of ironic.  So, if I’m not allowed to complain about Thor then I think using my cast for “King” should be a testament to honoring King’s ideal of a color-blind society by not adhering to race within our casting.

April 11, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | 3 Comments