Planetcaveman's Blog

Just another weblog

Immigration reform – Caveman style

For anyone that hasn’t been hiding under a rock the past few years would know that immigration has been a hot topic lately, unfortunately and as usual there has been plenty of bullshit thrown around and very little truth in the discussion, so today I will serve a thousand points of no baloney regarding immigration.

Ok, so what it the hype about?  In general there are plenty of people coming to the US to take advantage of the possibility for a better life here than in their own countries, this should be no surprise considering that most of the immigrant’s homelands are 3rd world Socialist shitholes (3rd world and Socialist shithole tend to go together a lot, don’t they?).  Socialism has turned Russia, East Germany, China, Vietnam, Cuba, etc, into impoverished tyrannies that people risk their lives to get out of, so should we open our doors to all of them?

The problem comes when those people who want to come here start demanding all sorts of government handouts that will result in The USA becoming a Socialist shithole just like the place they’re coming from, this happens all the time when Massholes (people from Massachusetts) come to NH to escape the oppressive taxation in Massachusetts and then they start demanding all sorts of government “services” be provided to them.  Personally I’d like to welcome these people at the border with a baseball bat and a shovel, if someone doesn’t even have the basic level of intelligence to see that getting “free” stuff from the government really just means you’re robbing others who wouldn’t fund those projects willingly then I don’t see what good can come from having such morons as neighbors.

Yeah, we don't have any use for you, please go home.

It doesn’t have to do with race, I’d be just as willing to do my best Bear Jew impression for a pale Irish guy from Southie as I would be for a Mexican, and I don’t think race is the main issue for most people who want the Feds to actually enforce immigration laws, it has to do with economics and culture.  For starters, why would I want more people in the country is my taxes go up as a result of them?  The simple fact is that most Mexicans coming here are poor, this doesn’t make them bad but it will very likely mean that those here will have to pay the tab on the education, medical, and other government expenses that Americans will have to pick up the tab on.

Now, some people will claim that this is a bad argument because those cheap labor illegals are performing a service since the supply of those services has increased relative to demand that the price for that service has declined and that Americans would have to pay higher prices for those goods/services if the illegals were to leave.  This is actually true, having cheap illegals does makes the price of those services less expensive, but what those people are unfortunately leaving out of the equation is 1) the price of government for those illegals, and 2) the decreased wages that the American underclass can command for that unskilled labor.

Anything provided by the government is always more expensive that if that product were provided by the market,  this why education, healthcare, court and prison costs we need to pay quickly outweigh any economic benefit we might obtain by having illegals work cheaply here, it very quickly becomes a net negative.  Those government expenses must also be taken into account for Americans here, whose wages for many unskilled labor positions have actually decreased over the last decade, this is especially shocking considering the degree of inflation we’ve actually had in the US (as opposed to what Ben Bernanke claims we’ve had).

So, suppose wages for a position go up $500/month for a position, if that means we can get someone off of welfare that means we don’t have to pay them $2,500/month, a net gain of $2,000 saved.  That seems like a pretty damn good deal to me.

Ok, now that we’ve addressed the economic issue let’s take a look at the cultural one and leave out the bullshit: we want the people that want to be on our team, we don’t want people who are going to demand that we accommodate them.  I have no interest in paying extra taxes so that children who only speak Spanish can have separate classes in Spanish.  Aside from wasting extra money (always ranking very high on the government’s list) the only reason to give Spanish speaking children classes in Spanish is to keep them from learning English.

It is beyond dispute that the best way to learn a language in the shortest amount of time is to completely immerse them in the new language, when the CIA wants to get a spy speaking a new language in record time they immerse them in it, it just plain works.  It’s also inspiring/depressing that I’m met many immigrants who have come to the US not speaking a lick of English, who after 5 years here can speak significantly better English than many people who have lived here their entire lives.

We don’t want to become Northern Mexico or even Sweden or Pakistan for that matter, we don’t like to hear about assholes taking down the US flag so a Mexican flag can be raised in it’s place or some Jihadi piece of shit who did an honor killing on his daughter, this is America and we don’t do that shit here.  If you want to be on our team you need to pay the price, and that means speaking the fucking language and simply dealing with it if someone wants to draw Mohammad.

I wonder what their stance is on the 1st Amendment

If people want the prosperity that America offers they can 1) change their own government/culture to become more like us or 2) they can follow our rules and come into America through the front door.

So, how should we reform immigration policy?  For starters we should streamline the process for people we want to bring in, I know a LOT of immigrants and have seen, firsthand, all the hoops that need to jump through to satisfy Uncle Sam, a simpler and faster process means that people can come in and start generating wealth that much faster.

Next, our criteria and priority for who we allow in should be based on what they bring to the table.  If a potential immigrant is college educated, speaks English, has family here, can put money into an escrow account in case we need to later deport them, and is a neurosuregon who will be making 400k/year, step to the front of the line.  Someone who doesn’t speak English and is only skilled at cutting grass, back of the line, we already have people who can do that job.

The simple fact is that we cannot accommodate unlimited immigration, that being the case we need to distinguish between those who can do the most good for the country and everyone else.

And finally, the last piece of the immigration puzzle is 1) cut off any government benefits to illegals and 2) to fine the shit out of companies that knowingly employ illegals, trying to deport all the illegals would be terribly costly and is a bad idea, if the Feds simply fined every company that knowingly employs illegals 25k/violation they would fire them in short order, no work to do means the only option is to go back to their home country.

That’s it in a nutshell, take those steps and the problem goes away, but until we demand that representatives (that’s right, REPRESENTatives, they represent us, they’re not “lawmakers”) look out for our interests and not their own corrupt power politics we will simply get more of the same nonsense.


May 30, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Self-defense tips from Planet Caveman

1 – Don’t piss off people if you don’t have to.

Yeah, the old guy down the block might be a bit nutty but that just makes even more reason why you shouldn’t cross paths with him, especially if it means allowing your dog to piss on his lawn.  For the record, the old guy has no right to shoot the other guy because of the dog pissing on his lawn, but that doesn’t mean it can’t happen.  Here’s a nasty joke: what’s the difference between men’s and women’s self-defense?  You don’t need to tell the man not to jog through the park at 3am.

Yes, a woman is completely within her rights to jog through that park but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, unfortunately reality doesn’t magically conform to the way we think it should be, don’t fight it, just accept it and you’ll be better off.

If someone wanted to wear a Klan robe while walking through Harlem most people would probably think he’s a fucking idiot, but somehow many people don’t get that generally being a dick isn’t a stupid idea.  To quote Vinnie Antonelli from “My Blue Heaven”: Why make war?

Who knew I was a self-defense expert?

2 – Don’t bring strangers into your home.

If you’re going to sell something of significant value it would be best to do it away from your home, ideally with some backup in a public place, and you’d take an alternate route home to make sure no one’s following you.  The basic idea is that every person is a potential attacker, this doesn’t mean that you should view everyone else as a bad guy, that would mean living in a paranoid state your entire life which is not very productive, but it’s a good idea to keep in mind that people, especially one’s you don’t know very well, could be an aggressor.

3 – Criminals are not looking for challenges, they’re looking for victims.

It pays to keep a low profile, one is less likely to attract attention by driving a Toyota to the mall as opposed to a brand new convertible Mercedes, flashing one’s wealth will only attract unwanted attention.  It also pays to be and look like you’re aware of your surroundings, being engrossed in a  phone call or your Ipod while you’re walking around makes you look like an easy target.

I once spoke with drug addict who admitted to robbing and beating hundreds of people over a few decades, he also had an astonishingly high rate of “scores (people who had a lot of money on them).  His secret: he went for the easy targets who looked like they had something on them, people who had a worried uneasiness about them in their movements and facial expressions.  People who looked like they just didn’t care but took note of their surroundings were not worth the trouble they were likely to cause, so they were left alone.

Ok, there you have it, free self-protection advice that can be gleamed from your everyday news sources, the truth is that amazing lessons are available everywhere in life, you just need to be open to them in order to learn.

May 16, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Is it me or does Ted Danson look like a lesbian?

May 13, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

What did the Jihadi say to the Mexican on Cinco de Mayo?

Intimidation works…if you dealing with pussies.

Most of you probably know that for the first time since it’s been on air Comedy Central has censored South Park, I’m not talking about bleeping an F-bomb or anything like that, they bleeped out a 30 second speech by Stan, the part where one of the kids explains the moral of the story, in this case his speech was about not giving in to a bully’s demands because it will only make that bully more likely to bully you.  That’s because you’re essentially telling the bully that bullying works, that being the case why not do more of it?  This is the reason why Israel’s “land for peace” idea was not only stupid in theory but it was a disaster in practice as well.

It seems that the current opinion of those in the entertainment world is to stick their heads in the sand and make any critical talk of Islam verboten.

What is especially ironic about this is that many people in the entertainment industry are Jewish, and Jews are likely to be the 1st targets of Islamic violence.  Take a look at what’s happening in Europe, Jews are routinely being attacked by the growing number of Muslims there.  I would hope common sense would overcome Jews and they’d be adamant about not giving into the demands of radical Muslims but I guess common sense isn’t in style this season.

Ironically it seems that the only common sense being applied is by a bunch of shithead Mexicans, who are unfortunately taking up space and air in the US, they’ve seen that making demands usually gets others to cave and they to decided aggressively demand that no student in their high school be allowed to wear clothes with an American flag on Cinco de Mayo.  One of the Mexican students, Annicia Nunez, said “I think they should apologize cause it is a Mexican Heritage Day, we don’t deserve to be get disrespected like that”.

Ok, so because the Mexican’s beat the French at a battle in Mexico in 1862 it’s disrespectful for an American to wear an American flag in 2010, what the fuck does one have to do with the other?  I wonder what would happen if a “Mexican-American” had decided to burn an American flag, on Cinco de Mayo, the 4th of July or any other day.  I would bet you’d see liberals come out of the woodwork to support their right to self-expression.

What makes this even more interesting is that Assistant Principal Miguel Rodriguez claims to have told the students to turn their shirts inside out was to avoid violence, Rodriguez told the students he did not want any fights to break out between Mexican-American students celebrating their heritage and those wearing American flags.

So instead of punishing any aggressors who start fights the solution is to tell the American students to turn in their shirts?  Why are the Mexicans allowed to wave the Mexican flag and paint their faces, why not tell them to lower their colors to avoid conflict?  Incidentally, if celebrating Cindo de Mayo really is about celebrating Mexican culture why are they waving a political flag?  A nation’s flag represents the regime in charge of a country, that’s why the Russian flag is different than the Soviet one, this doesn’t have anything to do with culture.  On that note I also have an issue with people waving the Irish flag here on St Patrick’s day, a Shamrock flag would be expressing the Irish culture, not the Irish state.

Cheer up kid, you have a lot of Guinness, potatoes, and fights to look forward to.

Finally, why are Mexicans who find the American flag offensive even here?  It’s obvious that they’re Mexicans and not Americans, so why don’t they go back there?  This is different from an American who might be of Mexican background, I have no problem with them and neither does anyone I know.  Liberals love to claim that Americans, especially non-Democrats, are racist.

Could it be that many Americans don’t like shitheads from other countries coming to our’s who then tell us to bend over for them? That’s all about not liking a rude asshole, it has nothing to do with the person’s racial phenotyope.  It’s especially rude considering the entire reason those Mexicans are here is because Mexico is a poverty stricken shithole and this is a MUCH better place to live, I wonder if that might have something to do with having too many ignorant and macho Mexicans in Mexico.

Anyway, so what can you do about this?  For starters I recommend posting this picture of Mohammad on your website.  The more people that do so the more the message will be sent that we won’t be intimidated by Jihadis expecting us to bend over for them.  I would also recommend wearing t-shirts with Americans flags on them for the same reason.  If any of you have any suggestions feel free to voice them.

America, Fuck Yeah!

May 8, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Random May Madness!

What the hell is wrong with people on Facebook?

I think SouthPark summed it up with this clip quite nicely.  

I look at facebook as a way to communicate with friends and to get in touch with people who I’ve lost touch with, I really don’t understand this need to “friend” people for it’s own sake.  For instance, a few months back I got a friend request from someone I knew in grade school and then didn’t have much to do with in high school and virtually no contact since.  I accepted the request and we exchanged a few pleasantries, no big deal, but then they sent me multiple invites to support their spouse.  Keep in mind I never met the spouse, don’t know a thing about their politics,  nor live in the state they’re in, why would they ask for my support?

I might be a bit old school here but I don’t see how you can “support” people you know nothing about and still have you’re word count for anything.  That being said, what kind of a person asks a person to support someone they don’t know, and does so being fully aware that person A doesn’t know Politician X?

Sorry but Facebook is kinda getting out of hand, one’s value in internetland does not determine one’s value in the real world.


The changing of the guard has occurred, Thai food is now the King!

Those of you who are familiar with our tastes here at PlanetCaveman know that we’re unrepentant carnivores, and because of that we have a deep fondness for Portuguese/Brazilian BBQ joints, and while they still hold a very special place in my heart I am forced to now conclude that Thai food is better, there is simply much more variation with Thai food which make for more interesting tastes.  Thai food still allows one to go the Caveman route and have the meal be overwhelmingly meat, meat is simply a very small portion in most restaurants because the people running them are cheap, and they also tend to be much smaller than most Anglos, hence the smaller portion.

If you’re in the Boston area I wholeheartedly recommend Chilli Duck and Brown Sugar, there are also great smaller places but you have to look around a bit because they can vary quite a bit in quality and value.

I recently had a papaya salad called Som Tum, which was easily one of the most interesting and without a doubt THE spiciest dish I’ve ever eaten, there was such an interesting contrast of tastes that made it irresistible to eat despite making my mouth numb for 30 minutes after I ate it.  If they can manage to calm down on the spiciness a bit I think it would be magnificent.

So, if you can find a quality Thai place serving real Thai food give it a shot, you won’t be disappointed.


If it’s done in Mass it’s done half-ass.

Yep, that pretty much sums up just about any type of government activity but here in Massachusetts we take pride in our government being more incompetent than others.  Lately I’ve become rather incised at the traffic I deal with in my commute, while simple congestion is part of it that problem is tremendously aggravated by constant and shitty construction projects.  I know the reason for it, it allows the government to spend money and it lines the pockets of the unions who do (or rather DON’T do) the construction.

I really wish democrats would just once grow the balls to have a little consistency, think about the amount of gas wasted when cars are just sitting on the highway like a parking lot, that can’t be good for the environment.  Doesn’t it also take money out of the hands of the working people who have to piss away their time and gas by sitting there?


Tom Brady won’t play in New England after 2010.

If the knee injury wasn’t enough, or the 22k square foot house he’s building in LA, you really don’t need to look much farther than his constant slip into celebrity world.  Barry Bonds is a fucking racist steroid loving scumbag and to see the future former #12 joking around with him like old buddies makes me kinda sick.


We’re part Neanderthal!

C’mon, do you really think those of us at PlanetCaveman are disappointed at this revelation?  Embrace your inner caveman, you’ll be healthier, wealthier, and wiser for having done so.

LUKE, I AM YOUR FATHER...well, more like your great grandfather 1000 generations beforehand...but we're still related, kinda.


The one true faith?

This is something that has pissed me off for a long time, there really is nothing like an arrogant asshole who won’t hesitate to tell you why you’re a piece of crap for not adhering to “the one true faith”, and for some reason everyone is always convinced that it’s their faith that’s the right one, despite the fact that all the other groups think the same way.

Anyway, do “true” and “faith” actually jive?

“True” means ‘consistent with fact or reality’, this is usually ascertained by observing reality, if I want to find out the rate of acceleration due to gravity I can grab a stopwatch and drop something from a high place, that’s how we know something’s true.  Now, let’s take a look at faith, it’s “a belief not based in fact”, by it’s very definition a faith cannot be true, if you have verifiable proof of something it’s no longer faith.

Look at it this way, if Jesus appeared out of thin air and revealed himself to you do you really think you’d deserve credit for believing in him after that?  I mean, maybe a little if not for having some common sense, seriously who wants to piss off a guy that can turn you into a barrel of wine?


Endorsement time!

Be sure to check out

It’s 100% organic with no high-fructose corn syrup or democrats added.


Epic Quote

“Pride is a poor substitute for intelligence”

– Lt. Col. Podovsky

May 7, 2010 Posted by | Uncategorized | Leave a comment